Sunday, July 30, 2006

Anger Management

You moms out there may understand this post. For those of you who don't, and ultimately see me as a monster who doesn't deserve to be a mother, then boy do I apologize.

I am absolutely fuming right now. My blood is traveling so fast through my veins, that it is breaking the sound barrier - you hear that? I thought so. Let me start by saying I knew the day would end up terrible. Call me a pessimist. I knew that by the events taking place, I would be in this present, pre-heart attack position. The first event that set off the chain was that while I was trying to get fresh sweetcorn shucked for dinner, my stepson was trying to put up our new tent (see pic below) all by himself. He just knew he could do it. In the middle of me having thousands of corn silks covering my sweaty hands and forearms, I yell to him that he needs to go get his Father (inside the house) for help.
"Well, he won't want to help me!"
"I know he won't WANT to, but he isn't doing anything else, so he NEEDS to!"
"Fine." He says this as he stomps off into the house, and back out again with Father pacing behind.
Just as I go in with over a dozen shucked ears of corn in hand, making my way to the sink for rinsing, Pak (stepson) comes in the door.
"He said to go get mom. He doesn't know how to do it."
"How convenient. Just a second!"
I go outside as the Husband comes in the door, already sweaty and ticked off. I make my way to the "campsite" out in the yard and begin huffing and puffing because of my annoyance at the convenience of me being the only one that knows how to put the sucker up. What a dumba** I was to put it up the first time so that I had experience under my belt to be used against me at a later date. Man, how could I not see that coming? I begin to immediately assess the problem and go about fixing it. I show Pak where the poles go for certain things and return to my other duty of corn patrol. After finishing washing the ears of corn, I go back out to make sure the tent is not damaged already. Once again, Pak is at a standstill with no clue what to do next.
"Here, just let me do it" I said.
"Gosh, you are as grumpy as Daddy. You are BOTH being grumps, if you ask me."
"I didn't ask. And the reason I am grumpy is because I am the only one that can do this, which makes it great for your Father!"
"Hmmm."
"This is why I told you I was not thrilled about setting up this tent today. "
"Hmmm."
"There you go!" I said this in my best sarcastic tone, letting everyone within ear shot know that I was not a happy person.
After the girls got home and it was decided the oldest three children would sleep out there tonight, many trips were made by those children carrying things they HAD to have out there: blankets, air matresses, comfort items to sleep with, and more that they tried to put past me like a TV, Playstation, lamp, fan, extension cords out the wazu...
I told them the dangers of all of those things and how the dew would ruin whatever they thought they had to take out there. I swear, only five minutes went by and they were already back in the house! Told ya!!! I knew it. All of the sweat, blood, and tears to get the tent in shape, then nothing. Now, to boot, we have it all to carry in, take down, and put away. I can't stand it!

Upon returning to the house, at eleven o'clock at night, the sweet little children decide they want to be loud, as the "angry bear" as they called him, was trying to get some sleep so that he can go to work tomorrow. I warned and I warned. They went upstairs. (where the bear was) They were so loud that I could hear them through the ceiling while I was downstairs. I tried to be patient and warned them once again about being quiet for Daddy. Nope. Again, back to the instantaneous blood boiling Mom. I mean, that makes me absolutely insane! I could bite nails and spit them at someone at that point. It was all I could do to not stomp up the stairs and rip their ears off. I asked, while steam was pouring from my eyeballs, "What are you doing that sounds like you are jumping up and down up here????"
Answer: Pak jumps up and down twice with no words spoken, smirking.
I was ready to tear something up.
"I swear, you guys better knock it off, and BE QUIET, stop whatever you are doing, or Daddy is gonna get up and whip your asses!!! Do you NOT GET IT???!!!!"
"He's already told us to be quiet once since we've been up here." (they say this as if it is no biggie)
"Then I suggest you shut up!"
At that point, I turned and walked away, knowing what I was capable of. What can I say besides I told you so? I knew it was going to turn out this way. Instinct.
What happened to the philosophy of "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"? Why doesn't that apply at my house? I am on the verge of calling SuperNanny. I mean it!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You need to chill out. Nobody died.

Anonymous said...

Kids. Can't live without 'em, can't beat 'em, can't sell 'em on eBay.

Nina said...

Anonymous commenters, come out of the closet! Would love to see who you are. I like visitors.

Brenda said...

ARGUH! Nobody died!?!?!?!

I've got your back! I've got 5 kids. All grown now... but the memories linger and linger....

Do you still have your hair? I would of pulled mine out. :-)

Nina said...

I do, in fact, have my hair. My husband doesn't, though.
You've got five, Brenda? wow. I'm sure you look back now and wonder how you did it. I know I already look at some situations that way.
Thanks for the backing...

Helen said...

Did you tag the kids for sale at the garage sale, too? LOL

I don't have kids, so I don't exactly know how it feels, but just reading this, I would know that I would be in the same mood that you were. I run a retail store, and I see children running amuck, and causing trouble without parental rearage, and many times, I have personally had to go and tell the children to behave because "parenting" is frowned upon in todays society, if you know what I mean.

A parent who nowadays has the courage to stand up to the kids has my respect, and after reading your story, you have mine.

Two asprin, a couple of shots of tequilla (or the whole bottle, if you prefer), and a dead bolt on the bedroom door, with hubby and the kids on the other side--I bet that would help.

Nina said...

I will definitely take that into consideration. Thanks, Helen. And kudos to you who will take control of her store and tell the parents to buck up and make their kids behave!!! Love it!