1. My intelligence
2. Healthy children
3. Grace and forgiveness
4. My resurrected friendships
5. Sunshine
Friday, July 10, 2009
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Sweet Nothings
There are only a few weeks of my "summer vacation" left before school starts again. Those of you keeping up with me know that since I had to take a grad class, my summer vacation just started last week. (not even a full week, as I might say) So, given those facts, my vacation is not really a vacation at all. Why not? you ask. Well, think of it like this:
If a teacher has to put off all appointments like dental, vision, etc. during the school year, she then waits for summer to come so that she can make those appointments during normal business hours like from 8-4. That means her summer vacation would be the best time to get an appointment like mentioned so that she doesn't have to take off work or take her kids out of school to do routine things. Trying to then cram all of those appts. for four people into less than three weeks is what I'm up against. Before I know it, I will be forming lesson plans for the beginning of the school year, taking up precious hours of my vacation time. So, if you are keeping track, and I think you aren't, my summer is cut down to only a couple of weeks of days off. That's not nearly enough for me. Sure, I love my job, don't get me wrong. But some nice summer days is what many teachers look forward to. When a teacher is robbed of those, it seems like she has been cheated.
My oldest daughter is driving now. She has her permit and is taking driver's ed as of this past Monday. Yesterday she drove to a town near us about fifteen miles away and then drove back as well. She did great, actually! I am and was worried. I guess it is a normal motherly reaction to your child driving?! I am paranoid about my kids being in a car accident, so it grates on my nerves to think about all of the possibilities...
I got to visit with a friend yesterday. It was quite nice. This friend has been on weight watchers and has lost forty pounds. Man, am I envious! I need to follow in the footsteps of said friend. Difficult, though.
I helped another friend move on Monday. You talk about difficult! There was a multitude of stuff to move, but we got it done. I'm glad this friend is out of the environment he was in. Yikes!
If a teacher has to put off all appointments like dental, vision, etc. during the school year, she then waits for summer to come so that she can make those appointments during normal business hours like from 8-4. That means her summer vacation would be the best time to get an appointment like mentioned so that she doesn't have to take off work or take her kids out of school to do routine things. Trying to then cram all of those appts. for four people into less than three weeks is what I'm up against. Before I know it, I will be forming lesson plans for the beginning of the school year, taking up precious hours of my vacation time. So, if you are keeping track, and I think you aren't, my summer is cut down to only a couple of weeks of days off. That's not nearly enough for me. Sure, I love my job, don't get me wrong. But some nice summer days is what many teachers look forward to. When a teacher is robbed of those, it seems like she has been cheated.
My oldest daughter is driving now. She has her permit and is taking driver's ed as of this past Monday. Yesterday she drove to a town near us about fifteen miles away and then drove back as well. She did great, actually! I am and was worried. I guess it is a normal motherly reaction to your child driving?! I am paranoid about my kids being in a car accident, so it grates on my nerves to think about all of the possibilities...
I got to visit with a friend yesterday. It was quite nice. This friend has been on weight watchers and has lost forty pounds. Man, am I envious! I need to follow in the footsteps of said friend. Difficult, though.
I helped another friend move on Monday. You talk about difficult! There was a multitude of stuff to move, but we got it done. I'm glad this friend is out of the environment he was in. Yikes!
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Independence
Happy Fourth of July to all!
Some people travel on the holiday weekend, some visit other cities. This fourth of July I am celebrating the nation's independence and my own! We are having a get together at our house for the holiday. Fried chicken (homemade), cheeseburgers, hot dogs, and more will be served. I am so excited for my friends, new and old, to come over to celebrate. There will be a cornhole tournament (with trophies involved)and other planned activities for all to enjoy. The fireworks that the city park does will be seen from the backyard. You can't get any better! Relaxing, unwinding, and laughing - I can't wait.
Some people travel on the holiday weekend, some visit other cities. This fourth of July I am celebrating the nation's independence and my own! We are having a get together at our house for the holiday. Fried chicken (homemade), cheeseburgers, hot dogs, and more will be served. I am so excited for my friends, new and old, to come over to celebrate. There will be a cornhole tournament (with trophies involved)and other planned activities for all to enjoy. The fireworks that the city park does will be seen from the backyard. You can't get any better! Relaxing, unwinding, and laughing - I can't wait.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
trip
I am going to see my mom in treatment today for the first time.
My girls are going with me.
My father is driving us.
My girls are going with me.
My father is driving us.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Approaching
We are settling down in the approach to the homestretch for my grad class. I am so glad I have written as much as I have. I'm so glad that I have made friends to bounce ideas off of. I'm so glad I got to meet some very intelligent instructors, and I'm so glad my work is almost complete for the requirements of the class.
I'm not happy about having to be finished with the class. I'm going to miss it, to be totally honest. I won't miss the commute - one hour one way - but the other aspects I will miss.
Soon I'll post some samples of what I wrote while in the class. Soon.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Dear Addiction, Part 2
The other day I wrote a letter to my mother's addiction in my writing class. I read it to someone yesterday for the first time. The person cried. And so did I. Here is a second letter, influenced by my conversation with my mother on the phone last night...
Dear Addiction,
It seems your importance has diminished by leaps and bounds. My mother is breaking out of your cocoon you had around her. She now sees light, truth, and hope. For that, I'm thankful.
Since you don't have such power over my mother any more, she is able to backtrack over her memories, or what she has left of them. She realizes just how long you and she had your little love affair. Though she couldn't say the actual words, she was aware that you two have been together, entwined, for twenty-one years. That's a fourth of a lifetime. I'm sure you aren't happy about this new arrangement. I'm sure you are panicking and latching on to any last minute hope that you and my mother may be together again. I'm praying every day you are out of our lives forever.
Sure, it won't be easy. We'll have to help her fight you daily, perhaps even hourly. Taking one hour at a time, one day at a time, will be the strongfast hold she can have to put you at bay. I'll help her do just that. You see, last night was the first real conversation I have had with mother in so long. She sounded happy and clear-headed. She feels some independence, and it makes her giddy.
So, addiction, say goodbye. Feel endangered. Give up.
Sincerely,
Nina Shoultz
daughter of someone special
Dear Addiction,
It seems your importance has diminished by leaps and bounds. My mother is breaking out of your cocoon you had around her. She now sees light, truth, and hope. For that, I'm thankful.
Since you don't have such power over my mother any more, she is able to backtrack over her memories, or what she has left of them. She realizes just how long you and she had your little love affair. Though she couldn't say the actual words, she was aware that you two have been together, entwined, for twenty-one years. That's a fourth of a lifetime. I'm sure you aren't happy about this new arrangement. I'm sure you are panicking and latching on to any last minute hope that you and my mother may be together again. I'm praying every day you are out of our lives forever.
Sure, it won't be easy. We'll have to help her fight you daily, perhaps even hourly. Taking one hour at a time, one day at a time, will be the strongfast hold she can have to put you at bay. I'll help her do just that. You see, last night was the first real conversation I have had with mother in so long. She sounded happy and clear-headed. She feels some independence, and it makes her giddy.
So, addiction, say goodbye. Feel endangered. Give up.
Sincerely,
Nina Shoultz
daughter of someone special
Monday, June 15, 2009
...and I said, "NO, No, NO"...
There's an Amy Winehouse song called "REhab". The lyrics referenced above were my mother's mantra for many years. She would not be happy reading this, but sometimes there are things we must write about when the muse strikes us. Now is that time.
My prescription medication addicted mother went into rehab on her own free will last Thursday. This was the same day I was to give my demo lesson in front of a class full of graduate students. Since I am in an intensive grad course, I was unable to go with my father to take my mother to her destination. I was secured in New Albany, nowhere near the northeast side of Indianapolis, so I was cut off from the day's events.
I talked to my mom on Sat. afternoon. It is the first time she has sounded human in years. An on and off addiction of twenty years has taken her away from us. It almost sounded as if she may return when I talked with her a couple of days ago. I hope so, because it has been too long. I had resigned myself to the thought process of not having a living mother. That sounds incredibly harsh and unempathetic. Folks, believe me when I tell you that the aformentioned is a coping mechanism that some resort to in the extreme cases. This was one of those cases.
When users go so far, it gets pretty unbearable for the survivors of the usage to sit back and watch. I was one of those survivors; I no longer wanted to partake in watching my mother's demise. So, I didn't. I cut myself off from her as much as I could.
I'm ready for her to come back to life.
My prescription medication addicted mother went into rehab on her own free will last Thursday. This was the same day I was to give my demo lesson in front of a class full of graduate students. Since I am in an intensive grad course, I was unable to go with my father to take my mother to her destination. I was secured in New Albany, nowhere near the northeast side of Indianapolis, so I was cut off from the day's events.
I talked to my mom on Sat. afternoon. It is the first time she has sounded human in years. An on and off addiction of twenty years has taken her away from us. It almost sounded as if she may return when I talked with her a couple of days ago. I hope so, because it has been too long. I had resigned myself to the thought process of not having a living mother. That sounds incredibly harsh and unempathetic. Folks, believe me when I tell you that the aformentioned is a coping mechanism that some resort to in the extreme cases. This was one of those cases.
When users go so far, it gets pretty unbearable for the survivors of the usage to sit back and watch. I was one of those survivors; I no longer wanted to partake in watching my mother's demise. So, I didn't. I cut myself off from her as much as I could.
I'm ready for her to come back to life.
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