Saturday, July 29, 2006

What'll It Be, Madame?

I am back from my dinner out with the Husband, except it wasn't just us two. We had a tag-along, so to speak. My stepson unexpectedly came home today instead of tomorrow evening. Long story, not worth getting into. Regardless, we kept our dinner reservations at Bonefish Grill and made it a party of three, not two.
I now sit at home with a dying stomachache. Yes, I am paying for my neediness for food. I was so indulgent and had such great seafood, that my stomach reared its ugly head and said, "Whoa! What pleasurable, expensive food this is; we shall make you pay!" And the stomach is now working overtime to compensate for the garlic, lime, tomato sauce; the au gratin potatoes; and the seared vegetables, washed down with a glass of Reisling. That is the other downfall - the GLASS of Reisling, instead of a bottle. Children in the area with watchful eyes=only a glass of wine.
Not that all of you know, though some of you do, I have major stomach/colon problems so this gut-wrenching pain I have from eating something I don't normally eat is not amazing to some. I hear tell of dooce having constipation issues. Well, dooce, let's swap stories. I have what has been dubbed as "Colonic Inertia". Yep, dead colon. Old lady, unmoving, gone to rest inwards parts. Dead. As in never to again be alive and well. I have to take a cocktail of Miralax and orange juice every morning that about gags me to no end. If anyone needs full details, you could ask my mother, who had to give me baby enemas since birth. This obviously did not happen overnight.
So, I am ridden with that same old rumbling in the belly - the working parts bitching at the colon, telling him to move his shit. Unfortunately, he's not budging. But they'll keep on fighting. Thanks, shrimp and scallops. You were great.


Candi said...

"Move his shit" Hahahaha!

Nina said...

Thanks, Jes. hahaahah