Monday, February 16, 2009

The Verdict is In

I'm divorced. My name is restored to my old name, not Graue anymore. I'm not posting any details because the bastard reads my blog. Rest assured I'm ecstatic it's done. Rest assured I'm rushing over to the social security office to get the paperwork for my ss#/card so that it can all be changed. Rest assured I'm not looking back!
What a clusterf**k I got myself into with that one!
If any of you need a partner, the ex tells me he's a changed man - he continues to tell me that in emails, posts on his blog, etc. Look him up. Call him. Take him out on a date - better yet, ask him to pay out of the account he's gonna start with the money I'll be paying him. Have a couple of drinks, on me! If you're really brave, get a bottle of Poet's Leap Reisling or a stiff Cosmo. Cosmos are so refined; they make you look elegant.
What kinds of dumbass expressions can I think of in summation???...
Get R Done
Cowgirl Up
Let's Motor
F**k U and the Horse U Rode in on
Ain't That Sumthin'?
Well shit and shove me in it
I'll be Damned
Dog Will Hunt
Amazing
I'm Like a Cat Covered in Shit
What am I? Flypaper for Freaks?
Dumb and Dumber

Okay. I'll stop. It's getting ridiculous. LOL
Hey, Princess...no more dinners on the King. It's just up to me, now. Does McDonald's sound okay to you? Or would White Castle suit you better? That's how us white trash people like it. You can call em "sliders" if you feel really trashy. How bout we go down and get us a sack of em? Deal. Be there in an hour.

5 comments:

Princess said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!
mrs. shoultz-weird.
i'll stick wit "other mother" or "hey, queer" maybe even DOUCHEbag...ahem.
ok, im done
love ya

Hope said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nina said...

I am laughing hysterically. Amen, sisters.

Hope said...

I have to apologize for using the f-word. I didn't realize that The Mustache had gotten religion on us. I hope he prays multiple times daily for me and my foul mouth.

For what it's worth, I said what I did because it's a direct quote from him to me. You were never better off without me, nor I you. But him? Well, I guess you already decided that one, didn't you?

Brenda said...

A roaring round of applause!!!

He'll get his due.... in time. All in time.