Monday, January 03, 2011

Touchy

I've been so sentimental and touchy lately. Everything that is said, done, implied, or not done affects me greatly. I don't know what it is or why this is happening. I have seriously been in this deep dark depression about returning to work. I have to work three hours today (hours of my choice) and then return to work full time tomorrow with my students being present. I'm simply not ready for it. I'm not ready to hear my alarm go off at 5:45am, me wanting to hit snooze several times. I'm not ready to jump right into the shower once my feet hit the floor. I'm not ready to then wake up my eldest so that she can shower, then wake up my middle daughter, then my youngest. I'm not ready to hear the potential bickering of a morning while everyone is trying to get ready and stay out of other people's way. I'm not ready to finally make it to school, already tired. Then, I'm forced to run ragged once the bell rings at 3:02pm sometimes making three or four trips to the middle or high school for practices and/or games. I'm simply not ready to return to the hustle and bustle of my daily existence.
To some, this may sound horrible. That I should have known this was going to be my life when I made the decision to have three children. No, because when that happened, I genuinely thought there would be a father involved in the process, too. Wishful thinking that was, huh! Let's just say it hasn't turned out the way I expected.
I wanna get in my bed, cover up with a warm, cozy blanket, and sip my diet mountain dew from my bedside table while watching the Food Network. I don't see anything wrong with that.

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