Living Proof

There is a band from Indy called Living Proof Band. They are amazing! Can't wait to see them tomorrow night. I've been waiting since the Indy 500 trials to see them again. And tomorrow is it! So pumped...

sort of successful

I made small accomplishments today. I got the ENTIRE frig cleaned, including throwing out and cleaning every shelf, glass particle, and frig door compartment. I also got my new pots and pans cleaned, organized, and put away. I guess you'd call that success. Even though the office didn't get cleaned. You have to eat an elephant bite by bite. Right?

To Clean, or Not To Clean; That is the Question!

I vowed to clean our home office today. I don't want to do it. Instead, I want to enjoy the day in my pajamas reading and doing laundry. So, to clean, or not to clean? Remember: I'm "on vacation"! haha

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all! I hope your holidays are filled with laughter, living, and love. Be kind to one another.
Love you,
Nina

Got it.

I got my Christmas presents wrapped today. I've only got two more to finish. I know what I need, I just have to pick them up. Then, I will be completely finished. I got an early Christmas gift yesterday in the mail: two statements from the hospital where I was there twice with the stomach flu. Let's just say that the statements they sent to my insurance totaled well over 5,000.00. Yeah. That's what I thought, too. How great it feels to know you get punched in the gut when you're down. I mean, really, how much can a few bags of fluid and iv medications cost? I was only taking up space for a total of about 7 hours between two visits. Anyway, the statements really made me have an extra special Christmas. Who has that shoulder I need to cry on? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Last

Today was my daughter's last day of high school. She is no longer a high school student as of today at 11:30 am. Wow. Feels a little weird. She's on to bigger and better things, as she put it. I'm so very proud of her. Wish I could take her to Cancun and celebrate.

Sigh. Big Sigh.

I just needed to do that. Sigh, then a big sigh. Then a majorly deep breath. Still, doesn't really make me relax. Doesn't make me feel any better. What to do next?

Christmas

Oddly enough, Christmas is one of those times that is both difficult and joyous for me at the same time. Weird, isn't it? I find it really hard to explain. Ever since I was little and can remember, Christmas has kind of been one of those times to cause angst for me. I get this knot in my stomach. I think it comes from worrying about money. I've always worried about money. I was a saver. When I would get birthday money from others when I was younger, I'd put it away and save it, counting it many , many times. I'd look around stores when I would go with my mom, and it would take me MONTHS to get up the nerve to buy something I really wanted. I would pick it up, put it down; pick it up, put it back. I would do this several times, my mom would remind me, and then I would purchase it. Afterward, I would second guess myself and the purchase. I guess I'm still that way, in a sense, today. It's not that I mind parting with the money. That's not it at all; I love giving people gifts they want or need. I'm not selfish, by any means. So I don't mean it to sound that way. What I really mean to zone in on is the fact that I don't ever like to feel unprepared, or uncomfortable when it comes to money. And, to be quite honest, I feel both of those. I'm not "comfortable" or "prepared" at all in a financial sense. Maybe that's what makes me nervous, so to speak, about the holidays. It's almost as if my thought process includes thinking, "If I spend just fifty dollars more, then what if something comes up and that fifty is exactly what I needed? Shouldn't I just hold off and see?" I probably don't even make sense. Point blank: the holidays make me nervous. But, at the same time, I continue to tell myself to remember the reason for the season, even if no one else does. And that is the birth of Jesus. I just keep trying to tell myself that. But it works some days, and some days it doesn't.
On another note: my oldest daughter turned eighteen a week ago. Yes, I officially have an adult child. Wow. It doesn't really seem possible. Do I feel old? Some days. Do I feel differently? Only when I really sit and dwell on it. I pulled up some of my very old blog posts, back from 2006 and read them the other day, Friday, right after school. I have to admit, I teared up when I read some of them. One of the ones I read was right around Christmastime when we first got our dog, Maddie. I had written about how she was our new baby girl, and how my baby, Makaili, was turning thirteen. THIRTEEN! And now she's all grown up at eighteen. It's hard to believe. I get choked up even thinking about it. So much time has passed in such a hurry. And so many things have happened. Re-living them all makes me emotional. I just have to sit and breath deeply, taking one moment at a time.

wow

Wow. I didn't see that one coming.

Shoulder

A long time ago when I worked at North Decatur High School, I had this shoulder issue. It got so bad, I did several rounds of intense massage therapy. It was weeks before the pain subsided. Well, it has returned. My shoulder is absolutely killing me. It hurts/burns/pinches right around the curvation of my shoulder blade. The stinging is so bad that I was in tears last night. Tears. And I'm a grown woman.
I went to the doctor for this issue right before Thanksgiving. The week before, actually. They put me on Prednisone, a steroid. It worked after a while. It was pretty intense, though. It was rough on my stomach, and it gave me hot flashes. I only had to take it for a week, thank goodness. But, already, the flare up is back. I'm not too happy about it. At the same time, I hate to return to the doctor, for several reasons. Some of those include but are not limited to the following: I don't like going to the doctor, I don't want to take medicine, and I don't want to be told "It's stress." Duh, I know that. And who can "get rid of" stress altogether? That's right, no one. So, here I'll sit, in agony, and wish it away. Let's see how that works.

Just blah.

I don't even have a Christmas tree put up. I currently don't have one. We purchased one last week, and the stupid thing wouldn't work correctly, so we had to take it back. No more stock of that kind, so now we are without one. By the time we get one put up, it'll only be up for a couple of weeks! Blah.
I'm so tired today. I literally have had to struggle to keep my eyes open. I'm going home to take a nap. Yep, you heard me, a nap. That's just how blah I feel. With dishes and laundry surrounding me, I plan on sleeping. Hope it all works out in the end.

Canadian Bacon

Yesterday, after college orientation for my daughter, we went to Sam's Club. While browsing through the refrigerated items, I was taken aback. I had not ever seen this item in Sam's before! Low and behold, it was Canadian Bacon. And lots of it! I looked at Makaili, she looked at me, and then a smile spread across her face. She said, "I haven't had Canadian Bacon in forever!" I asked, "Think we should get some?" to which she replied, "Yeah!" So, I bought Canadian Bacon for the first time in over three years. I haven't fixed it in what seems like forever. I used to fix it all the time. I'll have to see if I've still got the touch.