Friends

It is difficult to know exactly how much friends mean to us unless there is a situation when those friends aren't around anymore, or we see very little of them. As I get older, I have come to realize that friends have so much value and add so much to people's lives. The reason I know this is because, unlike 15 years ago, my friends are essentially non-existent. Sure, I have a few people whom I talk to from time to time, but not the type of friends that I simply "can't live without" talking to on a daily/weekly basis. You know, the kind of friend that you have to call no matter what hour of the night to tell them a brilliant idea you just had. Or the type of friend that you call and simply weep, them knowing what is wrong without you even saying a word. The type of friend who you can shop with and not kill one another. The kind of friend you can pick up when they are down just as quickly as they can pick you up. I miss having the kind of friend who just stops by for the heck of it, without calling first. I miss having a friend who can listen to the angst of motherhood without judging you, seeing you as a horrible mother. I miss the friend who relishes in MY children's achievements right along with me and vice versa. I often wonder: how can I go through the rest of my life without a friend like that? I am missing out on so much. At the same time, where I am in my life right now, I'm not sure I would be the kind of friend someone else needs. (if that makes ANY sense) I'm not sure I can commit to offering all of that. Probably why I am friendless, I'm thinking.