I got a letter in the mail from my mom today. It was two pages of lined notebook paper front and back. It was good to read her writing, as if she was talking to me or sitting next to me perhaps drinking a cup of coffee.
(I sent her a card a week or so ago, but this is the first letter I have received from her since she's been in treatment. The girls and I have gone to see her once, whereas my dad has gone to see her several times.)
There were several interesting aspects to the letter. First, mom wrote in the letter about her excitement. I haven't seen her have excitement for anything in a very long time. She even said that on Sunday when dad came up to see her, it was as if it were their first date. That melted my heart. Secondly, there was a poem of sorts she included in there that was given to her in the program speaking of motivation called "Even Though" by Ralph Marston. This little poem was striking. I can just see her reading it and being her own cheerleader. Another thing in the letter that struck me was that she spoke of a meeting she attended where the participants had to write a condensed version of their recovery and make it so people would want to read it. Mom and the other attendees made book jackets and titles for the "books" and even had to go to the front of the room as if on Oprah or some talk show where they had to answer questions about their books as if they were bestsellers. My mom loved this, she said. The counselor even praised her repeatedly on her job well done. He told her that her book was "so deep", then proceeded to spin her around to the entire audience and tell them how he just wanted to scoop her up and for everyone to take a good look at her. She felt on top of the world! I can only imagine how she felt validated - for her writing to matter to someone. I have had that feeling a few times and there is no high like that high a person can feel if they love the written word like I do. Lastly, mom copied her goodbye letter to pain pills for me to read. As I have had time to process it and re-read it more than once, I am moved by it. It's not that it is loaded with impressive vocabulary or painted with heavy descriptive words; it is that it's raw and expressive. It brings me to tears. I'm ready to have my old mom back - the one who wrote this letter to me that I received in the mail today.