Purpose Driven

I am reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren right now and finished a chapter this week about making bad relationships forgiven, no matter how far back they go. This is not to say the relationship must continue, revamp, or rekindle. This means to make amends; say your peace.
One relationship that I was nudged about while reading was the one with the recent ex husband. Given all that surrounds or surrounded things, I do not want to conjure up feelings, hurts, angers, etc. and contact him. I'm sure he reads this blog, so I'll do it here.
Gabe -
In a relationship, it takes both people to communicate, both to make mistakes, and both to take responsibility for things. I want to tell you that I know that and understand that. NO ONE is perfect. That I know, too. I am a very difficult person to live with. I accept that about myself. So, at this particular time and place, I am making peace with you. That does NOT mean I want to have any type of communication; I just want you to know I forgive both you and myself. Nothing further needs to be done or said, just know that the anger is gone. I want you to find your peace and live how you want to live, as I am doing the same.

Perhaps those interested should read the book as well.

worry

So I am sort of freaking out about my upcoming class. I know I shouldn't; there's really nothing to be afraid of. Despite telling myself that, I am frightened a bit. You see, I have to do what's called a "demo" lesson. This lesson is hands-on for the participants of the writing class. I must demonstrate a writing lesson, having the students (grad students) do whatever writing task I explain. Then, the pieces of writing are displayed for all to see. The demo lesson should be one that these teachers/students can take back and use for their classrooms. Sure, I've had writing lessons I've done before, but I don't want to do one too easy, too disconnected or not meaningful. Help me out, if you can!
I sort of want to do something like Postsecret.com, but???????
(breath deeply, breath deeply, Nina)
Why do we fear failure so much???

Long Weekend

`Thank goodness it's a long weekend.

My Granny called today and invited our whole family over for dinner on Monday night. I think other family members are going to be there as well. Sounds fun! Less than a week left before Thoroughly Modern Millie! I can't wait. I love that musical, and I can't wait to see Cammi in it. She has a great part.

Pizza night tonight. Kids are downstairs watching a movie (number 1 and 3), middle daughter is at a friend's for a while. All is good in the hood.
Our local Mexican restaurant is now back in business after a fire. Can't wait to be treated to a nice margarita there.

Tri-county Champ

My middle daughter, Cammi, is now the Tri-County Shotput Champion!!!! It was great. I am so proud.

There are eight days of school left.

I start my class on June 8.

I found out today that a trip to France is expensive and not on the radar for me - even if it is through school.

I need a part time job (a second job - isn't that sad?)

I can't wait for Cammi's musical next week.

I almost got beat up by a weird, gross, freak of a guy because I stopped to take pictures of an old truck that has sat in a field I go by daily for nine months. He did not like my explanation of why I was taking close up pics of this truck. Seriously, he confronted me, walking closer and closer as he spoke.

I want a quiet day off by myself.

I love sunshine.

Thankful

I am so thankful for all that I have. It is easy to get distracted in this crazy thing we call life - distracted from what is important and real. And today, my friends, I am grateful.
Last night I had the chance to spend the evening with some family and friends. One family member in particular, I haven't spent much time with over the last SEVERAL years. This is a person whom I practically helped raise. When my own girls were little, this "girl" (she's now a woman), was at my house almost every weekend. She was like a daughter to my husband and me. After not really having her in my life for more than five years, I am wonderfully excited that she is back in it now. Last night was great - we laughed, danced, had a great time!
Thank you God for bringing us back together! I selfishly want so much more time with her.
We have something like 12 days of school left. I look forward to the summer. Bring it on!!!!

Tu parle le Francais?

This morning, as I type, there is a sweet smelling aroma coming from the kitchen. No, my children aren't fixing me breakfast for being such a good mother. Yes, breakfast items are being prepared.
Makaili is in French class at school and from time to time, they have cooking days where each student brings in something French related. This time, on their last feast, we tried a new recipe. Creme Brulee French Toast.
The smell is powerful. We all love creme brulees, so we hope it tastes similar. They are coming out of the oven now and I can't wait to try it! (we had to fix two pans - one for school and one for us)
I'll let you know the verdict...

record

Cam threw her best at shotput and discus last night. She outthrows some of the high schoolers here. I guess they aren't very good!
She threw 31' 1" in shot and discus was around 61'.
I am so proud of her. I hope she sticks with it and continues to improve so that next year she can really make those suckers fly!

Mother May I?

I used to love that game. We neighborhood kids would play Mother May I days in a row. Simple game, but fun.
I am a mother. I have been for over fifteen years. Some days I don't really feel like I am, but others the overwhelming awareness zaps me. Many days I feel as though I am a sucky mother. Other days I feel as though I am not. I guess every mother goes through that. One thing I do know is that I do a helluva lot for my kids. And though they may not know it now, I pray they realize it when they get older. (I predict they'll understand it once they have their own children.) Sure, I am moody, bitchy, overwhelmed easily with stress, but I never stop doing for my girls.
Happy Mother's Day to all mothers, but more importantly, those who mother. You know who you are: the women that may or may not have given birth, but continue to give, sacrifice, and love despite all odds.

Rain, Mental Health Days, and Field Trips

Tomorrow a fellow teacher and I will embark on a field trip to Indy. We are taking approx. 30 (out of 125) students who earned this trip. They were to have no grade lower than a C-, have no lunch detentions, period detentions, or write-ups for three weeks prior to last Friday. Like I said, we have only 30 going. My problem with this field trip is that I have been looking forward to it, but we have been swamped with a shitload of rain today. It is suspected to continue tomorrow. So what, you may say. Well, all would be good if we weren't going to an OUTDOOR baseball game! And, and, . . . we have lawn seats. I hope and pray it clears up tonight and the sun shines a bit tomorrow.
Today was rough at school. I seriously didn't know if I could make it there all day. My morning was marked with several students sent to period detention, much pulsing of the brain and heart on my part due to anger, and outright anxiousness. I mean, my blood pressure hasn't skyrocketed like it did today for a long time. Sure, I've been "worked up" before, but today was one of those flip-the-switch-instant-red-faced-bitch moments. I could feel my ears burn. I ended up making it through, but it was questionable there for a while.
I think I will charge Mak's iPod tonight and take it for the bus ride tomorrow. I can rock out and bust some rhymes on the way there and back, zoning out for a while. Then, if it rains, I'll possibly have one of those cool songs in my head and sing for the crowd. Take me out to the ballgame!

I'd like to introduce you to...

the members of MY family (thank you to Hit 40 for this one):

Whitey
-HVAC salesman (no, it doesn't stand for "hilarious vacations" salesman)
-two years older than me
-we're actually legally divorced, but technically back together in a non-legal sense
-sports fanatic
-overtly outgoing personality
-humorist

Makaili
-15 and a half year old daughter
-has come to be familiar with getting Cs on her report card as of freshman year
-brainy, yet unwilling to use to her advantage
-artist (very good one, at that)
-can sing well, but refuses to use it publicly
-has had heart broken by a member of the male species
-has huge feet like me

Cammi
-soon to be 14 in a month - middle daughter
-named after successful female hockey player
-middle name is from male, famous hockey player
-most athletic of the girls in family
-WAY involved in everything: track, basketball, softball, and theater at once
-most helpful
-A/B student

Sydney
-eleven year old daughter
-was born while I was finishing up my college degree (returning student)
-All A student
-drama queen
-wears glasses like me
-loves to write, like me
-is sooooo not athletic
-hypersensitive
-high maintenance
-Disney Channel enthusiast
-can't stand to be away from me

Maddie
-tiny, two-pound Yorkie (Mak is "supposed" to be her mother)
-dog of the family
- loves to cuddle and sleep in blankets, near humans, or on humans
-gets her fine, thin hair matted easily
-is a pain in the butt, but we love her

and me.