Not so sure

As a lot of you know, my oldest daughter graduated mid-term from high school back in December. She then attended a local, small college for this past semester getting a jump start on her college credits before going off "away" to college in the fall of 2012. I'm sort of re-thinking our decision a bit. It has been more difficult to now put her in a "transfer student" category in respect to attending a larger, farther away college. It has sucked, quite frankly, to try and get all of this ironed out. Admissions, transfer credits, fees, and more have haunted me in my sleep. I'm over it. I want it to be easier. It's no wonder many people forego college these days; they make it unbearable at times. Grrrrrr.

In the words of

a famous boy band, "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday." I love that song. The lyrics just popped into my head this morning after I got up. I think I need to listen to some Pandora and find my groove.

Invitations

The invitations are ordered. Mak and I designed her graduation invitations today on Shutterfly.com and ordered them. I'm excited to see them! Now, it will be hell trying to address them all, but I'm sure we'll get it done. One thing checked off the graduation list - yeah! Five thousand more to go...

It's So Hard To

-keep my mouth shut when everything in me screams to let it out
-sleep without being overwhelmed with my "to do" list
-get up in the mornings when my body says, "Stay in bed until at least 8am!"
-find the time to fix dinner when I don't get home until 8pm
-laugh in the face of my grocery bill
-not countdown the days until school is out
-not countdown the days until I leave for Myrtle Beach
-hold back and not go to L.A.
-rely on others
-keep my work clothes on past 3:45pm
-raise three teenage daughters
-keep towels laundered at my house
-try and fit three or more loads of laundry in per day
-eat healthy
-leave a fresh strawberry pie in the frig without eating a piece
-hold a little baby girl and keep from wondering what it was like to have one that tiny
-be still and know that He is God
-smile when expected to
-keep my minutes down on my cell phone when my best friend can't get reception in the boondocks so I have to call her on her home phone
-not gossip
-stay sane

Mark It

Mark it off, ladies and gentlemen! I have crossed off an item on my bucket list! I shot a handgun/pistol this weekend. Woohoo! And, to top it all off, I hit the target I was aiming at. It was quite powerful, and it was loud. I loved it. I want to do it again. This time, I want to go to a shooting range. Over the weekend I just shot outdoors out in the woods. I must say, I enjoyed it. What I forgot was to have someone take my picture doing it. Darn it.
Makaili and I got our Kentucky Derby hats and dresses yesterday, too. She's pretty excited. I just hope it doesn't rain like it has the past two years. I want sunshine so we can wear our attire. It should be fun to start a new tradition with her as an adult. That sounds funny, doesn't it? Me, having an adult daughter. Whew.

Attitude

I need to look at things with a whole new perspective. I need a whole new attitude. Gonna try my hardest to do so.

That numbness

I have that nervous numbness to my legs. They feel like jelly. Noodle legs, some call it. I don't like that feeling. I can't seem to make it go away. To top it all off, I feel like I could puke. Too much going on, I guess.
Cam got ninth out of about 16 girls in the Jeffersonville Invitational today. I was a bundle of nerves the entire meet. I get more nervous than she does. She's favoring her knee and just doesn't seem comfortable on it yet. I hope that goes away. The brace sort of restricts her, I think. I don't know. I just want it all to go away and for her to get back to normal. She has so much potential. I want it so badly for her. It is hard to watch your kids go through some things. This is one of them. Where's my magic wand when I need one? The coaches are throwing around the idea of sitting her out next Thursday, which is a home meet. I don't really want that. They spoke of compromising and letting her not do the glide, just doing a power throw for shotput. I really don't know how I feel about that. I guess it's better than not throwing at all. What to do, what to do... I think we will talk to the physical therapist Wednesday and see what she says. I don't want to backslide any further.
She needs some small victories to build her confidence again. She feels she's slipped since this injury. I don't like her feeling that way. She's better than that stinkin' thinkin'.

Grads

I have soooo much to do before graduation comes. I feel overwhelmed. This to plan, that to buy, those to print. Ugh. Is there anyone to help? I feel like there should be a "graduation planner" out there for me.