Another Year Gone By

It's the close of another school year. Today marked the end of my third year here at JCMS. Both Mrs. Lane and I got to supersoak the kids today, as we have for the three years I've been here. It's a bittersweet moment. Next year Mrs. Lane will not be my neighbor any longer. She is moving rooms. I feel like I'm losing my best friend. We've become very close, and I hate to see her move into another hallway away from me. We're not even within shouting distance!
This year, I've felt like I accomplished something by meeting almost every single one of my standards. That's difficult to do in just 180 days of school. Continuity was a big thing this year; I felt disconnected at times due to snow days in early 2011. Overall, though, I felt it was a successful year. Our ISTEP scores might not show it, but I know in my heart I did my best, and that's all anyone can ask for. Tomorrow I will finish in my room and leave until August. That's a good feeling!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

Today is the greatest spectacle in racing here in grand old Indiana. The Indy 500 race is today. We will be watching it on TV along with several of our friends. We are also having a fish fry to add to the festivities. I see a little cornhole and frisbee in our future as well. I hope my migraine holds off. Yesterday I had an attack that did a number on me. I was driving, had to pull over, almost passed out/puked, and barely made it home. I've never had that happen before. It was quite scary, actually. I'm better today, but feel a bit of the residual effects. I'm getting ready to go take some Advil as we speak, then I'm going to church. Enjoy your long weekend, everyone!

Living Proof

I got four free tickets to the Indy 500 qualifying today. We got to see a driver get bumped with one minute to go in qualifying. It was great! We also got to witness a GREAT band -- Living Proof. They are a band out of Indy, and they play everything from Michael Jackson to Maroon 5 to Rick James. They were simply amazing. I could have stood there dancing to their music for hours! They were good enough that I want to go see them again in Indy sometime soon. I wish my girls were with me so that they could have danced to their music, too. They would have loved it! I had a great time at the track today. I'm excited to watch the race next weekend. It ought to be a good one. "The greatest spectacle in racing..."

PTSD

We just finished a novel, Soldier's Heart, about the Civil War. What I love best about doing this novel is that I get to discuss post traumatic stress disorder, fight/flight response, and relaxation techniques with my students. Today was that day! The last period of the day today, I had this one student who blew me away. After we turned the lights back on and I let them readjust to the light, RR said to me, "Wowwwww! That was awesome, dude! Tell me other ways to relax? Do you know any? It was like my legs were part of the floor. I was sooo relaxed! Thank you so much!" He just went on and on. He wanted a "copy" of everything I said during the relaxation time, etc. I was amused and flattered. I had no script; I just did it. I love it when one of those moments happens. Makes my year.

Johnnie

We picked up Johnnie today. He got through his surgery on the 12th wonderfully. He's jumping and running just fine. We asked if we could give him a bath, and the ladies at the shelter said not for ten days. Wrong! I had that look of amazement on my face and then the lady changed her mind and stated that if we covered up his incision with a plastic bag or something and didn't let it get wet, that we could bathe him. So that's exactly what we did. And he smells and feels 100% better. He's pottied outside so far! Very happy with that, I am. Here are just a few pics of him:
Also, here are a couple of pics of Mak at the prom last Saturday:

lessons learned

Over the past few years I've learned so many things about myself. Some of them are good, some are eye-opening. I've joined a new church, made a new address for myself, taught at a middle school for three years, and watched my girls grow up so quickly. Many of the things I've learned about myself aren't really for public discussion; they are really way too personal. However, I can tell you that I've done much praying, some soul-searching, and talked with many trustworthy people. Where I have arrived is much better than where I started. That much I CAN tell you. Now, I mean this on a personal level -- emotionally, spiritually, etc. I have grown immensely. That is a good thing. I needed to. I've matured over these past few years. I've forgiven, been forgiven, and have made amends with some people that were overdue. I'm glad I've made some strides in my life. For that, I'm thankful.

Five

Five more days and we get our little baby boy! I am excited and scared all at the same time. It will be a major adjustment, I'm sure. I hope all goes well...

Dang it.

I just had this long post about the 8th grade dance, prom, and mother's day. It was wiped away. Dang it. I don't want to type it all over again. I've done it twice now. So, just know that my weekend will be chaotic with chaperoning, prom for two girls, and mother's day. Happy Mother's Day to my mom who is on vacation with my Dad. We'll just have to celebrate when she returns. Love you, mom! Give your mom a hug this weekend and tell her how much you love her.

hmmmm

I hate it when it seems like some people have fallen off the face of the Earth. Makes me sad.

Death

I went to the funeral home tonight for a family friend's visitation. It was surreal. It was also like a reunion of sorts. I saw people I haven't seen in such a long time. Tomorrow I hope to have more time to visit with a childhood friend of mine who now lives in Tennessee. I miss reliving all of those childhood experiences we had. Too bad we have to come together because of tragedy. I don't like going to funerals, but I feel it is appropriate for this family. I know each and every one of them. I'm sorry for their loss.
He was a great man.

Two, One, Two

I lived in a two dog family for several years. Then, I moved back to a one dog family. Now, I am thinking of becoming, once again, a two dog family.
You see, I made a promise. Now I have to live up to it. That means we are getting another dog. We have been looking on Petfinder.com to try and land a cute, cuddly, even-tempered dog to love and nurture. I am quite a bit scared, though. This dog must get along with Maddie, our other dog. First, I understand she will be very, very upset. She probably will not like the other dog. I get it. I wouldn't want to share everyone's affection, either. It happens, though. So, she must deal with it. The whole situation makes me nervous, however. I want the two dogs to get along and not nip at one another, or rough one another. I probably won't get what I want there. I want them to be buddies. But how can I know that will happen until I have already adopted the second dog and brought him home? Ugh.
So, tomorrrow I will make the trek to a humane society that has a dog we've been eyeing. And we will meet him. And we will cuddle him. And we will do the "paw test". (This is when we try and grab his paw to see if he throws a fit. If the dog lets us hold and rub his paw, then he's good. -- Yes, this test is unofficial, but I did see and hear it on Puppies 101 the other day; something very similar was explained, so I'm right, right? Sure.) We will more than likely fall in love with this creature, and I won't be able to resist putting a down payment on him. (He's not available to go home with a family until May 14 due to neutering.) Wish me luck. Johnnie might be ours.

Sometimes It's Good

Sometimes it is good to apologize. It makes you feel better about yourself, and you feel less burdened. Being forgiven is just icing on the cake.

Easter

Happy Easter, everyone! It's been a nice lazy day for me. I just got out of the shower, got dressed, put green bean casserole in the oven, and am waiting to go to Westport to my momma's house for dinner. I'm starving!! Being in my pj's all day has made me hungry. haha
Hope your day is blessed!

Priorities

It is so difficult sometimes to keep one's mouth shut in regards to other people's priorities. Why should it matter to me, really? Oh, but it does.
It pains me to sit back and watch other people sail through life with their priorities messed up. What should come first in people's lives? I know what should come first in mine. Sometimes I lose sight of that, but I try to focus the best I can. Why can't other people get it? Why do others often prioritize according to selfish wants? Why is it then so painful for bystanders? I don't have all the answers. But I know someone who does. Do you? I often have to go to Him for "consultation". Answers aren't readily given often times, but all in good time they will come. I have to believe that is true. This weekend has very special meaning for some people. I hope you are one of them.

Out and About

I am in one of those moods. You know, one of those moods when I desperately miss traveling. I miss going to the city. I wish I was on Broadway.

Out of Touch

I am so out of touch with what is going on in the world around me. I'm in my own little nutshell. And in this nutshell my world revolves around my kids and school (work). I feel like I'm in a fog sometimes; I can't see past the nose on my face. I don't really watch the news. I listen to XM radio, so I don't really get news there, either. I don't subscribe to a newspaper. So really, the only news I get is what I catch on Channel One News at school some days. That's it. And the local "gossip", or news, as the community seems to call it. I am disconnected. Disengaged. Uninformed. I need to get with it and watch CNN sometime or something. Instead of folding that last load of laundry, maybe I should sit down a minute and take notice of the world around me. I can tell you when the next track meet is, but I can't tell you what is happening on the west coast of the United States. That, my friends, is neglect. I've got to get a handle on it.

Adele

I went out on a limb and bought a CD. I hardly ever do this! I can't remember the last CD I purchased. But, I kept hearing great things about it. And I had heard one of Adele's songs many times over while getting ready in the mornings and kind of liked it for some quirky reason. So, I bought the Adele 21 CD at Target on Saturday. I just popped it in to my CD player in my car this morning on the way to school. At first, I ran through the first minute or so of each song. I thought to myself, "Oh, I wonder if I'm really going to like this or not." Then, after listening to it in detail, I do like it. There are many songs with piano parts, which I love. So, it was a good purchase. I think I'm really going to like it a lot. If you haven't heard Adele's songs, head on over to her website or itunes and check it out.

Once Again

I simply cannot believe I am sick with a sinus infection AGAIN! I swear it feels like everytime I turn around I get sick with one of these. It impedes my running regimen, and I do not appreciate it.

Off to a great start!

Tonight was Cammi's first high school track meet. It was in Austin, IN and was a triangular meet. Scottsburg, Austin, and Jennings County all competed against one another. Cammi threw shotput and discus. She came in first in shot! She threw three pretty nice throws. Her farthest, the second throw, was 32' 11 and 3/4". That was the winner! After her second throw, I told her, "If you throw 33', I'll buy you a puppy." She just couldn't quite do it. Her next throw was 31' some odd inches. So, we've got a great foundation to build on for the year. Her throwing coach said that if she keeps up in the 32-34 range, she would most definitely make it in sectionals. We're so excited. Also, Lucy (a senior who went to state last year in shotput) told Cammi: "Look at it this way; when I was a freshman, I was throwing 27-29'." That makes us so hopeful! If she could improve that many feet like Lucy did by the time Cam is a senior -- lookout! So proud of you, Cam! Keep it up!

It's so hard to stand back and watch things happen to your kids

I find it difficult to stand back and watch things happen to my kids. This runs the gamut from heartache to sickness to being overinvolved. I watch, and sometimes comment or counsel, but it is so very hard. As a mother I want to protect my kids. At the same time, I know that without life experiences, they will not learn. Better for them to learn while they are under my wing than when they aren't, true? That's how I have to look at it. It doesn't make it any easier, by any means, but it makes it manageable.
Sometimes I want so badly to just do everything for my girls. I want to do it so that they can be spared. That, I've learned, does them no good. So, I've learned the hard way to pull back. I've learned to let them take the driver's seat and go through the curves, hills, and dirt roads. I've wept, smiled, and hypervenilated many times. I've been on the learning curve the same time as they have, I suppose. As I've said before, parenting comes with no manual. That's why it's so difficult.
I've learned to pray, pray, and pray some more. That's what gets me through.