After being at the hospital when the new baby arrived, many emotions swirled in my being. I felt relieved that she was finally here, that she arrived and was healthy. I felt elated, that a new life was in our family who we'd see grow up. I felt sentimental talking about the three births that I went through myself. I felt guilty about all the things I have done to or with my own kids that have been negative. I felt sorry for the wrongdoings that have affected my children. I felt sad, that I was so young and dumb when I birthed my three kids. I really didn't know what I was doing. Yet, I felt a small bit of hope; maybe one day I'd have a very positive impact on this little girl. Maybe, just maybe, I could be her "go to" someday. I could be the one that would help her when she thinks her mommy and daddy can't. Everybody needs that go to person in their lives. Even my own kids.
I just want to hold this little girl in my arms. I want to kiss her tiny cheeks. I want to take in her baby scent. And I never want to forget all of this, so that I can tell her about it when she gets older - about the day she was born and the days thereafter. And I want to read books to her. If I could sing, I'd sing to her, too.
My "little girls" are 18, 16, and very soon to be 14. Where has the time gone?
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