Book

I'm reading a book called The Wednesday Letters. I have had this book for a while, but put it on the back burner. I've been reading it this week. The book is a good one, making me think and reflect on many things. The premise of the book is this: a husband, beginning with his wedding night, writes his wife a letter every Wednesday. This letter may be as long as a novella, but as short as a couple of sentences. This goes on for almost forty years. When the two wedded people die, their children find all of these letters and begin to read them. Secrets come out, things are learned, and emotions run wild while the letters are read. What strikes me is how intimate of an act of love the letter writing is. To be committed to writing a weekly letter to your husband or wife is of great magnitude. How wonderful would it be to receive a letter each week, even when times are rough? It would be such a gift. And some kind of legacy to pass on to your children. For others to see inside your soul that way would be enlightening.
I have been so slack in writing lately. I am not keeping a journal. I have not seriously written since last summer. I need to get back into it. Perhaps this book was meant to open my eyes to the power of writing again. Where's my pen and paper?

Princess

My "daughter" at IU has graduated! Cam, Syd, and I went to Princess's graduation party today in Milllhousen. Princess's hair looked great and she seemed really excited about starting her life in Phoenix with D. I'm so happy for her. She'll be working with homeless children there. I think it will be good for her. She'll do great. I'm gonna miss her, knowing that she isn't just a few miles away. It's not like we were together all the time, but I knew if she needed me desperately, I could get to her in an hour. Not now! She's going to be on the other side of the country.

I'm wrestling with some demons today. Praying that they pass quickly. I don't like being in this place, feeling this way. I shouldn't, I feel. These demons rear their ugly heads every once and a while, and I don't like it. Guess it just makes me human. That's how I'll have to look at it.

Saw my brother, mom, and dad today. Came home after the grad party and hung out with friends down the street. Then, on a whim, decided to go to LasChalupas here in town. Big Family Night Out with everyone. I love doing that. It's so much fun. And, I learned that my best friend Michelle will be attempting to quit smoking starting tomorrow! Hooray! I will be rooting her on. I want her to kick that habit so badly. Between her mother and me, I hope we can help her through it. I hate to see anyone be a smoker.

I can't wait for my Thirty-One products to come in so I can show them off and hopefully get Hope some business. Excited!! I love a good monogrammed anything. So personal, you know? haha

Seven more days left of school. I am so ready for it to be over. I'm ready for sun and poolside relaxation. Looking forward to it. I'm a bit anxious about the hectic basketball and dance team schedules I'm facing with the girls, but sun and waves WILL be on the agenda. We'll get it accomplished somehow.
Goodnight all.

MS

Today I will embark on the Columbus, Indiana MS Walk with my friend who has MS, Hope. Last year we did the mile course. This year, I told her, we are doing the three mile course. See, last year, when I was thirty pounds heavier, Hope literally ran circles around me on the walk. This year, I hope to run most of that three miles. I've bettered myself in so many ways that I am looking forward to doing this with her. She inspires me. I don't know how anyone with MS can do these walks/runs. It amazes me. But they do. Congrats, Hope. You do more than I can give you credit for.

No Frills

Tomorrow I am attending my first Kentucky Derby. I am going with my best friend. Now, she has this plan. We are strapping chairs on our backs, taking a tarp, two rain ponchos, a double layer of clothing in case it's cold in the morning and warms up in the afternoon, a cooler (no alcohol allowed), lunchmeat for sandwiches, and then she suggests I bring another change of clothes for the car ride home. Am I packing to go to Florida? or Kentucky? Sheesh. I'm not sure I can handle all this.
Pray for maybe not too much rain?!

Bucket List

I've received a few leads on some items to mark off my bucket list, pending my accomplishments of the said events.
1. Attend Kentucky Derby -- May 1.
2. Gallop/run on a horse -- anytime -invitation has been extended to me.
3. Have a savings account with money actually in it - if I have twenty dollars to bet on the day I cross off item #1 on here, perhaps I could win big and open an account. *Not counting on this one coming to fruition! It's always nice to dream big, though.

My schedule is so hectic - if only you could see my desk calendar at school - looks like a battlefield for colored pen markings. Sometimes I seriously don't know how I do it all. Mothering three girls is frazzling at times. Cam's big dance is coming up in a little over a week and a half. Her musical is this week/weekend. She has two track meets, basketball practice, etc. Mak is starting work. Syd has a fitting for her dance uniforms. I have computer Mobi training at work. I have to work a track meet this week. I have a faculty meeting. Going to the Derby Saturday. Syd has an overnight event at church Friday night. Ugh! Busy, busy, busy.
Oh, as a side note...broke up my fourth fight at school on Thursday. This one was bloody! Gross.

Sickly

I am home from work today with a sick child. I haven't had to stay home with a sick child for a couple of years now. Nonetheless, she is very sick. Good thing I didn't wait until today to take her to the doctor. She would have been horribly worse off than she was even just last night. She has a high temp, sore throat, and cough. I have had to keep a cold rag on her head all night long. She's sleeping now, but she can't be comfortable! She's on fire!
So, I took a personal day and stayed home.
I hope the medicine begins working today so that she starts to feel just a little bit better. I wish they would've given her a shot. Why don't doctors believe in that anymore? They are so reluctant to give antibiotic shots. Why??? What in the world would it hurt when someone needs some more immediate relief than three days of oral antibiotics? Sheesh. Anyway...

To Save a Family

This week at church was the second week in a six-week long study entitled To Save a Family. Last week's sermon sparked much discussion at my house. It was powerful. This week's topic within the study was How to Fight. Yes, sounds odd, no? Nonetheless, that was the course of study. We were even challenged to pick a fight today. (not a fist fight, obviously - just a verbal "discussion") I haven't had the energy to do so, and it is about bedtime. Seems as though I will wait until tomorrow to hit that one head-on. I'm not in the mood to pick a fight just yet.
I'm thankful for the discussion we have had the past week because of the sermon. Heated? Yes. Worth it? Yes. The definition of insanity, I've heard said, is doing the same things over and over again expecting different results. I've fallen into that category on more than one occasion. A lot more than one, if I want to be honest. I have pondered that thought over the past week in depth. In examining myself, I have learned a great deal. That, to me, is growth. And it is what I need to continue to do. I challenge you to examine yourself, too. Are you "insane" sometimes? I think we all are at one time or another. Check yourself. Then change something and see if the results are different. I'm trying to do just that.

in the middle

I love my middle name. I don't really know why, other than most girls don't have my middle name --- Rae. I should have named one of my daughters that or had their middle name as Rae, too. I wish I would have. One of my dearest friends from elementary and jr. high is finally having a girl on her child number four. She is having her middle name as "Rae" because she also has that middle name like me. That's cool.
Today I got up, vacuumed the house and told the girls, Let's go to Sam's Club. We need some frozen items and I just wanna get out. So, as I speak, everyone is showering and getting ready. We'll pack up and go to Sam's Club, spend more money than wanted, and come home to put groceries away. I think I'll rent the movie Everybody's Fine tonight and make it popcorn and movie night here. Sounds entertaining, right?

Inching closer

My daughter, Cam, is throwing shotput again this year in track. She's a beast! Last year her best was around 31 feet. Yesterday they had a mock meet and she threw 34 feet! Major gain! I'm so excited. Can't wait to see how that pans out in regards to the other throwers from other schools.

"I'm shakin' like a dog sh**tin' a peach seed."

Madness

So March Madness has come to an end. The ballgames are over, the hype is gone. Butler had a great season, but couldn't quite pull it off there in the end. That last minute shot was very close, though.
Easter weekend was great despite the fact that I don't feel like myself healthwise. I am seeing the doctor today. I'm sure it is sinus issues once again. You don't know how tired of that I get. I don't even want to go to the doctor, but I don't know what else to try. I can't even make it up for work in the mornings without wanting to cry from exhaustion.
Last night I had an unwelcomed surprise - -I was walking out to my vehicle and saw something shining on my tire. I examined it closer and it was a huge screw stuck all the way in my back tire. This morning I must take it to Miller Tire and have them get it out and patch the tire. I hear tell that it will probably cost me thirty bucks. Great. I don't want to drive to Columbus without getting it fixed first, so off I go to the tire shop bright and early. Just like getting up for work - no sleeping in.

Vacay Night

My best friend is on vacation this week. (the one who just moved into her new apt.) She has talked me into going with her to Indy tonight to the final four concert series featuring Stone Temple Pilots on the White River State Park Lawn. It is a free concert, so everyone and their brother will be there. Hope I don't get trampled...If that doesn't pan out, then we are going to the Slippery Noodle. Wish me luck!!!

Anne

My classes began reading about Anne Frank yesterday from our literature book. Oddly enough, a phrase caught my attention. We were reading along and the book was talking about how Jews were treated and how they were discriminated against -- how their lives changed once a decree was set forth forbidding them to do many things. In this explanation, there was a phrase about Jews only being allowed to shop in stores that bore the "placard" 'Jewish shop'. Placard. I used to use this word often when I was talking about placing a placard in the dash of someones car to remind him/her to stop somewhere on his/her way home or to pick up something, etc. For example, one placard that used to be used bore the word "CVS". Man, how some things just take us back to a certain place and time. Crazy! Out of nowhere. Insane.
So, those who have memory problems, place your placards in the dashes of your cars to remind yourselves of your errands you need to run. It works!

Commercial

Over and over again a Southwest Airlines commercial has been playing - you might have seen it - "Bags Fly Free". It is the one where the men who are baggage handlers raise their shirts to have the phrase painted on their bellies. Seen it? Thought so. Okay, so here's my reason for mentioning it. It has flooded my thoughts with flying, going somewhere. I have not flown in a very long time. I almost feel like I'm having withdrawl symptoms because of it. I miss New York City terribly. I wouldn't even mind going by myself! That's how much I miss it. I'm not even talking about the "touristy" places. I don't care if I go there. I want to be in the city, taking in the life, making my way through the boroughs and quaint places. I want to dine at certain places, rest in others. I want to sit by the Bethesda Fountain and have the sunshine on my face. I want to buy a hotdog from a street vendor.
I know. It sounds like a lot of "I wants". That is never a good thing, you are saying to me. I understand this. It doesn't negate the feelings I have, though. At this point, my flight I want to take doesn't HAVE to be NYC. I could fly relatively anywhere and be satisfied. I feel like it will never again happen for me. And I don't like that feeling. Sure, you can pin selfishness on me. Go ahead. I never claimed to be completely unselfish. You can bet your bottom I am, in many ways, unselfish because of my three children, though. So you can put that in your pipe and smoke it, as my dad would say. Ponder on that a minute. If a mother has children, she sacrifices if she is a mother at all. So this request might not be so selfish after all, I'm thinking.
Oh, this is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo, falling on deaf ears. I know that. It just feels a tiny bit better to get the feelings down on "paper" so to speak. Until the day comes that I'm magically wisked away to another place, I'll simply wait here in angst. That could be forever.

Haven't done it

Boy, my big plans for spring break. Big plans. Reading. Who thought I was actually going to get some reading done? I was hoping I would. I feel cheated. I've only been on spring break for one day, I hear you saying. But, that is a day that has gone and passed by without warning. I am regretfully counting down the days I have left. It's so stupid of me, really. Nonetheless, I am continually doing just that.
Yesterday I spent the day helping my best friend clean an apartment she is moving into due to her husband divorcing her. It was rather sudden. Sure, they had had problems, but she never would have thought he would do what he did to her. Now, at age 37 she must become independent again. The apartment is cute, and will do her just fine. I hope all of her "stuff" will fit in it. She has a lot to disperse! I found it empowering to help her onto the next phase of her life without her husband. She has her good times and rough times, but she'll make it in the end. I will be there for her whenever she needs me. So I look at yesterday as a day of service, so to speak. Volunteerism.
Today, I am taking the girls to Columbus so they can hunt for various things. Bathing suit for one, underwear for another, and perhaps at least one pair of shorts for one. I tell you, they are growing faster than I can breathe! Syd has birthday money, Cam has "Nana money" for a bathing suit, and Mak has babysitting money. They can't wait to spend it. Burnin' a hole in their pockets! I have an Applebee's gift certificate (Crapplebee's), so I think I'll take them out to lunch there. Then, it's back to N.V. for some basketball practice. The wicked never rest!
Maybe while Cam practices I can read at least a chapter or two in my book. Perhaps.

In other news... get to go to Pacer game Wednesday night for free (sitting five rows off the floor). I'm thinking some "downtown Indy food" sounds magnificent. Nice addition to the break.

Spring Break

This week is our spring break at school. I am so looking forward to some sleeping in, reading, and taking the week slowly. I need some time off.
Thinking that there are only nine more weeks left of school is wonderful. I am looking forward to the summer. This summer I won't be taking any writing class, so my summer months will be relatively free. Yippee! Cammi will be playing basketball on a travel team, and Sydney will have some dance practices, but my calendar is clear. Thank goodness for that!
Sydney did make the middle school dance team. I'm so proud of her. She is excited about being on the team. I can't wait to see her perform. Track season is abound for Cam as well as the musical. She is Mrs. Potts in Beauty and the Beast. She even has a solo this year!
My mom is doing wonderfully. She has nine months clean and sober now. Fantastic! She is making her first sober trek to Bristol to the NASCAR race with my dad and uncle. She was a bit nervous to be around all the drinking (since alcohol is a drug), but she was excited, too.
We have March Madness in full swing here at the homestead. Games have been good. Until next time...

Anne Frank

Time to begin our Anne Frank study for the year. Man, this gets me every time -- that kids aren't aware of the Holocaust and what happened then. I guess it's my calling to inform them of the inhumane treatment of others...

alive

It's a great day to be alive, isn't it?
February is coming to a close and that means we are inching our way toward spring and summer. I can't wait.

turn it over

Let go and let God. Boy that is so hard sometimes. A friend of mine told me recently, "Keep your eyes on the Son". Though I might have to consciously tell myself to continue to do that, I'm trying. It is so great to have this exceptional lady as a true friend. She is inspiring. I'm very lucky to have several close friends. Don't you love those friends that would do anything for you if you needed them to? They are the best! I'm so glad our paths crossed and those friendships have formed. Life is so much better with friends.

Last chance Saloon

So today is my middle daughter's last middle school girls basketball tournament. This will essentially conlude her season. We've been through it all - chipped teeth included. Now, today, it is the last chance to shine. I want her to have a good game, both defensively and offensively. I'm not striving for her to be top scorer or anything like that; I just want her to have a good solid game(s). She could be so much better - the best forward out there - if she'd just work at it a little harder. She needs to be working on her game in the off season if she wants to make it in high school. She focuses on other things, though. Of course, just like anything else, mother doesn't know best when it comes to teenagers. They don't want to take all of our advice!
I have a horrible sore throat. Hope it doesn't lead to my bi-annual laryngitis/bronchitis. I've been lucky so far this year on that!