Weekend report

The girls are away at their dad's house and I have slept my life away here this weekend. I am totally exhausted.
Yesterday was a gorgeous day here in Indiana. Of course, we all know that is an oxymoron -Gorgeous Day in Indiana...but, I got to hang clothes on the line to dry. It was amazing. And today, I am washing the sheets as we speak so that I can hang them out to dry, too. This coming weekend I plan to get some flower seeds with the kids and plant those. Awesome!
I have talked to my mom on the phone a couple of times this week. She finally sounds human again over the phone. It is wild, hearing her voice sound like it used to. Not that she is out of the woods or feels fantastic, but she is inching closer to normalcy, I think, anyway. She told me yesterday she kind of feels like she is "just here", but I told her how great it was to hear her sound better, even if she didn't feel great.
This week was a whirlwind of a money pit -- the lease we have on the Envoy is paying off in such magnitude...NOT. I had a flat tire this week. It was so flat that it couldn't even be driven down to the service station about three blocks from my house. I had to walk to my mom's and borrow her car for the day. Then, after having the service station guy come to my house and get the tire, repair it, put it back on, we had to drive the damn thing to the next town from us (that has a Wal-Mart), and get four brand new tires. You see, when you lease a car, you have to keep things wonderful on it. You have to have so much tread on your tires when you go to turn it in or you get penalized. And believe me, with as many miles as we've gone over on our allotment, we are being penalized enough already. The tires were bald, so we had to get them. $500+ for the four tires. THAT wasn't in the budget for the week. I'm ready to turn the damn thing in early and take all penalties. I'm over it. We have put over $1,000 in the thing the last month. That's no to mention having to pay the lease payment on top of that for the pure enjoyment of driving the beast. Plus, it cost 65.00 to fill the tank with gas, and I can't make it a week on one tank! You do the math!!!
Well, washer is buzzing, telling me the sheets are clean and ready to be put on the clothesline. Until tomorrow...

Hey.

Hi all. Me, here. So, I read about this assignment that a shrink gave a person. This assignment was a list of ten questions supposed to be handed out to five people that knew the client well. These five people then answered the questions about the client honestly and openly. The questions were quite thought provoking. I would love to give those questions to five people I trust and know and see just what answers turn up. I won't, though. It simply won't work. First, I can't think of five people I talk to on a regular basis who "know" me as I am right now. Secondly, if I did know five people, they would think of me as the biggest moron on the planet. So, the list of questions will remain frozen.

Cam is playing travel team basketball, right? I believe I've already stated that. Yesterday she had a game that took us an hour to get to. I had no idea it was that far away. I just kept driving, looking for this particular road I was told to turn on. Unfortunately, going 70-80mph and thirty-five minutes later than I thought, it turned up - you see, I thought for sure I must have gone the wrong way or missed the turn. Nope. The turn arrived around an hour after our departure from home. Wow. Tonight, she had another game around forty minutes from home. That was do-able. She kicked ass. She gets these awesome, "I'll kick your ass in a hearbeat" faces when she is on the court. She gets into it. She rebounds and ain't-nobody-gettin'-the-ball from her. It rocks. Someone in the crowd of parents tonight kind of chuckled at one of her faces and looked my way. I said, "Man, wouldn't you like to have those expressions on film!?" The parent replied, "Wonder where she gets that from?!" I laughed. Then I said, "Duh, her dad."

Finally, some good news...

Cam's teacher emailed me today, telling me that he wanted me to know just how proud he is of her and her hard work recently. He said she has all A's and B's, even in reading! (her weakness)

What a welcoming idea it is to have good emails come to me, especially about my children. Yes!!!!

Tonight, I do not have to cook dinner - what more could I ask for? Those are the things I live for.

Romeo and Juliet test went well. They scored better than I thought most would.
Suicide gets their attention, along with young lusty sex. What's a teacher to do?hahaha

O Romeo, Romeo

Tomorrow, my ninth graders will have their Romeo and Juliet test. We finally finished the play this week. Amen! And all the while, I am doing Shakespeare's Julius Caesar with my tenth graders. Boy, am I quite sick of Wm. Shakespeare's works right now. But, interesting story I found while searching for pictures of Romeo and Juliet. Check it out! Seems there were bones found of an entwined couple near Mantua, Italy where R&J took place (in some parts). Very cool.

In other news...My mother is home from the hospital. She had two seizures not because of low blood pressure, but from quitting pain medicine cold turkey. I tried to tell her there were grave consequences for doing that, but evidently she did not listen to the warning. She is quite angry right now, normal for what is happening, but nonetheless hard to accept. She has put off back surgery she was supposed to have on Apr. 17th. She is not really on board for doing what needs to be done as far as having her whole heart into being clean. Again, I'll say, I can't do it for her. (unfortunately) So, we'll all suffer through the pain it takes to a) figure out if she really will try to do what needs to be done, b) see her go through it all, and c) feel emotions every second of the day that we're not sure we want to feel. We'll get by. And I hope mom will see what is best for her, which is to be free of drugs in her body. Thanks for all the encouragement.

Mom

Around two a.m. this morning I got a phone call from my brother (lives at home) who was crying. He informed me that he had called 911 for my mom. Apparently my dad was sleeping and heard something - he got up and went to look for mom in the living room. He didn't see her there, so he went to the kitchen. She wasn't there either. He returned to the living room and found her wedged between the couch and end table. She was out cold. He saw her have a seizure, so he picked her up and put her on the couch. She then proceeded to have another one. My brother said he heard dad screaming bloody murder and went out to the living room. He called 911 and the ambulance came. She came to before they got to the hospital. Dad called me around 6:15 a.m. and said that they had put her in a room. Her sodium levels were low and they thought she had the seizures because her blood pressure was so low. She has cardiomyopathy, so they aren't sure just how much damage the seizures did to her heart yet. They did a CT-Scan and said the brain looked ok. She is in the hospital and they are watching her. Needless to say, I haven't slept much and now I get to truck in to work. Do you see that black cloud over my head? I thought you did. It's quite noticeable.

Easter

Today is Easter. The girls are with their dad and I sat here all day in this house without A) going to church, B) eating a traditional Easter dinner, and C) seeing any of my family. I feel shitty about all of them. I cleaned the house instead. Not that I wanted to, but I had to. Isn't Easter supposed to be about renewed hope in life? About being a believer and relishing in that fact? Yeah. I thought so. What did I get out of it? Sore muscles and coughing. A bologna sandwich and wheat thins.
So, in a few minutes, I will get in the car and go get the girls. We'll do homework, baths and showers, and bed. Feels like the weekend was an entire waste. Oh, and then, then I get to get up tomorrow morning and start another week of work. How freakin' fun is that?

I read post secret's website every Sunday. After reading it, I feel like I could send in about a million of my own postcards. Anyone else feel the same?

I am reading a book by Jodi Picoult right now - Nineteen Minutes. It is about what could happen in nineteen minutes. The focus is on a school shooting and bullying. It is good, but not as good as her book My Sister's Keeper. Just thought I'd inform you book bugs out there.

Warning! Extreme Conditions

Those of you who have multiple children will understand this, I hope.

I am reeling with emotions because my children will NOT STOP FIGHTING!! Not fist fighting (yet), but arguing. And I simply cannot take another five minutes of it. Sending them to their rooms doesn't help. Making them go to bed early doesn't help. Grounding them doesn't work. Screaming at them does nothing. I am totally over it.

Clovis is dramatic anyway, on a daily basis, but this, THIS is awful. She is crying all the time, and whining like no nine year old should. I'm about to internally combust. And don't forget, folks, that I am sicker than hell. Feel like dog doo.

So, chalk this up to another day of shittiness. All around.

Mask Taken Off - Truth Revealed

Oddly enough, my first post after the benchmark of 100 is bigger than the hundredth post itself.
In all honesty, I'm charting into unmarked territory here. And, I won't be long-winded about it:
My mom told me she's sorry for "all the dumb stuff" today on the phone as she was crying. She couldn't bring herself to say the words "I'm an addict" out loud. She conveniently worded it as the dumb stuff.
She claims verbally that she is just going to go through withdrawl and get over her problem. The sad part is, for no longer than I worked at a drug and alcohol treatment center, I did learn that an addiction can't be "solved". She's SO not going to be clean. And it kills me inside.
I feel like I need to send a post card to Post Secret and have it published for the world to see.
But I won't.

100 posts old

So this is my hundredth post. Yep, sure is.
I have a killer sinus infection and bronchitis for my lovely spring break. As a teacher, mother, or anyone who is just insanely busy at all, you'll notice that most times when sickness arrives, it is when you have that short spurt of "down time" when you can almost start to relax. Then, then is when you get sick. It's a lovely cycle, really. Doctors everywhere approve.
It may even be a tickline for the American Medical Association, I'm not sure.
I'm foul, very, very foul.

Odd

I was just trying to post something worth viewing when, kapowwww! The entire internet connection blew to bits. It kicked me off and I lost the entire post. Dammit.

So, I'll post a few pics I found while browsing my files. The kids have been playing with the camera, no doubt.

Hi. It's me.

Wow. Last post Feb. 7th. I am a slacker. I must say, in my defense, that I have been busy. The oldest daughter just finished up her basketball season on Thursday. They were defeated by our rival school. It was a barn burner, as we like to say here in Indiana, AKA Basketball Country. I was proud of the team. We played girls twice our size.
My second oldest daughter (fifth grade) will finish up her season this coming Thursday. She has played very well - she has scored, rebounded, and had assists. What more could I ask for? Plus, secretly between you and me, she is so tough she made girls cry on the other teams. Yes! That's my girl...
My youngest daughter is begging to play softball this summer. I am scared to death to let her, but I am going to. If she gets bruised in the face, I'll cringe. And probably make her stop. No, I just seriously don't want her to get hurt. When you start playing at age five and have played your whole life it seems, you are fine. But when you enter the game at age nine, other girls who are experienced will simply kick your ass. Period. And, the drama queen that she is along with prissiness, oh my - LOOKOUT.
My stepson is close to his end of the season in travel team basketball. He has bronchitis right now, so playing is not easy. He is supposed to have a tournament tomorrow - we'll see if he goes.
Lastly, my oldest daughter, Mak, attended her first formal dance on Feb. 24. She wore a dress - the first time since third grade! Four years. And, she wore makeup. And, she got her hair and nails done. I was shocked. She was oustandingly beautiful. I will post pics tomorrow hopefully.
Until another day, my friends...

Baby Maddie Update

Tomorrow our little addition to the family will be four months old. At her last vet visit, a couple of weeks ago, she finally hit the two pound mark! Today, since my children got the day off school because of snow, her "mother" - my oldest daughter, Mak- took some posing photos of her. She is just adorable, I tell ya.

Back to the sick house

I had the oldest daughter staying at home today. Sick again. This time she has whatever virus is going around her school. It is hitting the teachers so hard that they can't find enough substitute teachers to fill in for all of them. Yeah. It is this throat sort of thing - it feels as though your throat is swelling, creating a small airway to breath from. In turn, the sick person feels like they are fighting for air. There is a cough, a general feeling of your head swimming, and just the yuckies. Wonder how long it will take to run the course of all six of us? And just in time for the SuperBowl!!! Dammit!

For those of you who HAVEN'T written me off

I know. I haven't posted since Jan. 14!!!
Take this scenario: I went to work two days this week with a bundle of calendars paperclipped together. These calendars are those of three children of mine (out of four) who are running in twelve different directions. I had to combine all of the calendars into one, one that fits into my purse so that I halfway know where I am supposed to be, with whom, and when. It isn't that easy. We have basketball practices, games, tourneys, play practice, Spell Bowl practice, haircuts, dental appointments, orthodontist appointments, vet appointments to take the baby puppy to, writer's group for me, and more.
So, I haven't even been able to read the blogs I normally read on a daily basis. Hell, even a weekly basis at this point. There was ONE night this week when I was home before seven. ONE. Then I had so much laundry to do that I had kids screaming they had no clean underwear. Seriously.
So, until I hire a maid, my posts will be sporadic at best. Thanks for hanging with me.
Until another day...

Yeah. That title.

I can't think of a title, so I don't have one. That just about sums up the mood I've been in. (see posts about nothing lately. Proves point.) I am missing reading Cartwheels at Midnight. Paige, AKA Brandi, is on hiatus. When I go to comment on others' blogs, I get this log in message that then shoots me to Blogger, distracting me and making me circumvent the system. I hate that. So, I don't leave many comments. I am reading, though, I promise.
I am doing poetry with my ninth graders at school. I love poetry because it lets people hint at what they are feeling deep down, leaving most for interpretation. I love that. Of course, I love being direct, too. Get this: one day at lunch this week we had "Chinese Food". We got a fortune cookie and my fortune said something like "Be direct. You often get better results", or something to that effect. Boy did the other teachers I eat lunch with have a laugh. They were stating that sure, I needed to be more direct. Ha! Yeah, I guess you could say that about me - I do say what I want and wear my heart on my sleeve. Like it or hate it, I guess.
I am in the throws of having three out of four kids playing basketball right now. You should see my calendar. Overwhelming. It is crazy, really. I do get tomorrow off, only because I took a personal day, to stay at home with my own kids so they don't have to stay home alone. BUT, Mak has bball practice, then we have to go to our last ortho consultation. So, the day is shot, basically. Then, back to the grind on Tuesday. Pak has a basketball game, Mak has practice, and Cam has practice. All at different times. Wow. Dinner? I guess it will be something we can either scrape up off the highway as we cross paths with ourselves, or something we can grab out of the frig. like pudding. Nutritious.
Lastly, my mind has been reeling lately and therefore I have not been sleeping well. I am tired, don't get me wrong, but it is like my body knows it can sleep in for the weekend, but won't. It rebels, reminding me of how much stress it is under. Rest assured, on Tuesday morning when I can't sleep in because of work, my body will lie lax beneath me, dreading to start its day. Unfair, isn't it?

Can you believe it?

A radio station in Indy is doing crazy things. See if you can believe this one:
One of the DJs, whose name was originally Superphat Mikey, legally changed his name to Peyton Manning. He went through the entire process - papers, social security, in front of a court, etc. He is now legally Peyton Manning on his driver's license, his SS card, his paycheck, everything. It cost over $700. He might change it back if the Colts lose. What an expensive transaction. He'll have to do it all again to get his name changed back, if he wants to go ahead with it. He even goes as far as repeating Peyton's Mastercard and Sprint commercials for fun. Indy - the city of geniuses or idiots?
You decide.

Friday night lights in the city

I am sitting at home after a short work week, in theory. I was at work for three days after returning from break, only to have students for two of those days. Given those details, I feel like I have worked for the past three days STRAIGHT, around the clock. I mean, I was looking around the car trying to find a set of toothpicks, or even just one to break in half, so that my eyes would stay open on the way to work this morning. It didn't help that the vehicle in front of me was going 45-50 mph the whole way. I couldn't seem to pass him fast enough. It was at least five miles of following this slug. I was miserable. So, by the time I got to work, I had a headache. It hasn't left yet.

Two of my daughters went to the game at the high school tonight. Basketball reigns suprememe in our state, in case you haven't heard. The older one, now a teenager might I remind you, will go to the dance afterward. The other one, not in jr. high yet, will call me when the varsity game is over and I will drive to the high school to get her. I plan on it being around 9:30pm. Then, the dance is over at 11pm. So, I'll then make another trip back to the high school to pick that daughter up. Three trips to the school in under five hours. Welcome to Friday nights in the winter in Indiana. Did I mention earlier that I was extremely tired? Yeah, I thought I did.

So, the only people home are Clovis, the Husband, and me. (the two dogs, of course) We are vegging out in front of the TV and waiting on the taxi schedule to kick in. All I need is a light to let passersby know if I am currently in service or not. Could I request the light be glittery and orange instead of white? I'm flashy like that.

Talk about sent from Heaven...

I have watched news clips of this and read about it on the internet. I talked about it with co-workers today at lunch. It still amazes me. When I first saw the news clips, I instantly got goose bumps all over my body. This man is a true angel...

2007

It's a new year. Last night our kids had some friends over. It went well. No one was hurt, I got to bed around 1am, and am awake before them all this morning. Success.
We had sparkling grape juice at midnight and I kissed the Husband.
Today we plan to go see Charlotte's Web at some point. I love the pig on the previews. I believe today I will fall in love with him on the big screen.

I have every intention of having a good year this year. Of course, as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I wonder if that applies to me? I do not want to go back to work. I am anxiety ridden just thinking about how much work awaits me on the first day back, which is only a teacher day - no students. I will have three different preps. That means I have to make three different subjects worth of lesson plans for the semester. That is a lot. I have ninth, tenth, and eleventh graders this semester. Among things to do include research papers, Romeo and Juliet, and Julius Ceasar. Man, doesn't that sound like the best? *I am not a big Shakespeare fan. Call me horrible.
I'll get by, as I always do.

I am going to the hair salon today. So, after 3pm, I will have a good hair day. My roots thank Jane, my lesbian stylist, whom I love to go see. She is awesome. And if anyone in Indiana needs a referral, see me and I'll hook you up. She's "off the chain" as the teenagers like to put it.