For those of you who HAVEN'T written me off

I know. I haven't posted since Jan. 14!!!
Take this scenario: I went to work two days this week with a bundle of calendars paperclipped together. These calendars are those of three children of mine (out of four) who are running in twelve different directions. I had to combine all of the calendars into one, one that fits into my purse so that I halfway know where I am supposed to be, with whom, and when. It isn't that easy. We have basketball practices, games, tourneys, play practice, Spell Bowl practice, haircuts, dental appointments, orthodontist appointments, vet appointments to take the baby puppy to, writer's group for me, and more.
So, I haven't even been able to read the blogs I normally read on a daily basis. Hell, even a weekly basis at this point. There was ONE night this week when I was home before seven. ONE. Then I had so much laundry to do that I had kids screaming they had no clean underwear. Seriously.
So, until I hire a maid, my posts will be sporadic at best. Thanks for hanging with me.
Until another day...

Yeah. That title.

I can't think of a title, so I don't have one. That just about sums up the mood I've been in. (see posts about nothing lately. Proves point.) I am missing reading Cartwheels at Midnight. Paige, AKA Brandi, is on hiatus. When I go to comment on others' blogs, I get this log in message that then shoots me to Blogger, distracting me and making me circumvent the system. I hate that. So, I don't leave many comments. I am reading, though, I promise.
I am doing poetry with my ninth graders at school. I love poetry because it lets people hint at what they are feeling deep down, leaving most for interpretation. I love that. Of course, I love being direct, too. Get this: one day at lunch this week we had "Chinese Food". We got a fortune cookie and my fortune said something like "Be direct. You often get better results", or something to that effect. Boy did the other teachers I eat lunch with have a laugh. They were stating that sure, I needed to be more direct. Ha! Yeah, I guess you could say that about me - I do say what I want and wear my heart on my sleeve. Like it or hate it, I guess.
I am in the throws of having three out of four kids playing basketball right now. You should see my calendar. Overwhelming. It is crazy, really. I do get tomorrow off, only because I took a personal day, to stay at home with my own kids so they don't have to stay home alone. BUT, Mak has bball practice, then we have to go to our last ortho consultation. So, the day is shot, basically. Then, back to the grind on Tuesday. Pak has a basketball game, Mak has practice, and Cam has practice. All at different times. Wow. Dinner? I guess it will be something we can either scrape up off the highway as we cross paths with ourselves, or something we can grab out of the frig. like pudding. Nutritious.
Lastly, my mind has been reeling lately and therefore I have not been sleeping well. I am tired, don't get me wrong, but it is like my body knows it can sleep in for the weekend, but won't. It rebels, reminding me of how much stress it is under. Rest assured, on Tuesday morning when I can't sleep in because of work, my body will lie lax beneath me, dreading to start its day. Unfair, isn't it?

Can you believe it?

A radio station in Indy is doing crazy things. See if you can believe this one:
One of the DJs, whose name was originally Superphat Mikey, legally changed his name to Peyton Manning. He went through the entire process - papers, social security, in front of a court, etc. He is now legally Peyton Manning on his driver's license, his SS card, his paycheck, everything. It cost over $700. He might change it back if the Colts lose. What an expensive transaction. He'll have to do it all again to get his name changed back, if he wants to go ahead with it. He even goes as far as repeating Peyton's Mastercard and Sprint commercials for fun. Indy - the city of geniuses or idiots?
You decide.

Friday night lights in the city

I am sitting at home after a short work week, in theory. I was at work for three days after returning from break, only to have students for two of those days. Given those details, I feel like I have worked for the past three days STRAIGHT, around the clock. I mean, I was looking around the car trying to find a set of toothpicks, or even just one to break in half, so that my eyes would stay open on the way to work this morning. It didn't help that the vehicle in front of me was going 45-50 mph the whole way. I couldn't seem to pass him fast enough. It was at least five miles of following this slug. I was miserable. So, by the time I got to work, I had a headache. It hasn't left yet.

Two of my daughters went to the game at the high school tonight. Basketball reigns suprememe in our state, in case you haven't heard. The older one, now a teenager might I remind you, will go to the dance afterward. The other one, not in jr. high yet, will call me when the varsity game is over and I will drive to the high school to get her. I plan on it being around 9:30pm. Then, the dance is over at 11pm. So, I'll then make another trip back to the high school to pick that daughter up. Three trips to the school in under five hours. Welcome to Friday nights in the winter in Indiana. Did I mention earlier that I was extremely tired? Yeah, I thought I did.

So, the only people home are Clovis, the Husband, and me. (the two dogs, of course) We are vegging out in front of the TV and waiting on the taxi schedule to kick in. All I need is a light to let passersby know if I am currently in service or not. Could I request the light be glittery and orange instead of white? I'm flashy like that.

Talk about sent from Heaven...

I have watched news clips of this and read about it on the internet. I talked about it with co-workers today at lunch. It still amazes me. When I first saw the news clips, I instantly got goose bumps all over my body. This man is a true angel...

2007

It's a new year. Last night our kids had some friends over. It went well. No one was hurt, I got to bed around 1am, and am awake before them all this morning. Success.
We had sparkling grape juice at midnight and I kissed the Husband.
Today we plan to go see Charlotte's Web at some point. I love the pig on the previews. I believe today I will fall in love with him on the big screen.

I have every intention of having a good year this year. Of course, as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I wonder if that applies to me? I do not want to go back to work. I am anxiety ridden just thinking about how much work awaits me on the first day back, which is only a teacher day - no students. I will have three different preps. That means I have to make three different subjects worth of lesson plans for the semester. That is a lot. I have ninth, tenth, and eleventh graders this semester. Among things to do include research papers, Romeo and Juliet, and Julius Ceasar. Man, doesn't that sound like the best? *I am not a big Shakespeare fan. Call me horrible.
I'll get by, as I always do.

I am going to the hair salon today. So, after 3pm, I will have a good hair day. My roots thank Jane, my lesbian stylist, whom I love to go see. She is awesome. And if anyone in Indiana needs a referral, see me and I'll hook you up. She's "off the chain" as the teenagers like to put it.

So many things to write about?!

There are so many things swirling in my head that I could write about. Some, of course, I can't write about. I would hurt people's feelings, allow too many things to be told, and open cans of worms I don't dare bother. So, I'm feeling dumbfounded, actually. Numb, so to speak. But it is the kind of numb that stings. The kind of numb that lets you know you are still alive and feeling emotions that you perhaps don't want to feel.
I get into these moods where I miss people. It is really mental illness, I've diagnosed. I insanely miss my grandpa who commited suicide when I was little. Call me immature; I know some will. But, it still exists that I miss him. Where are the days when he picked me up and danced with me? Why can't I go back to that? Just a few more times I want to be picked up by someone and held, them breathing into my neck a familiar, loving breath. He thought I was it. No one since has ever thought that. I just made that realization. Maybe that's what hurts. I think it is.
I miss my Grandma Rosie. She is the one who died three years ago around the holidays. Since she has been gone, my family that lives in the same town as I do has not talked. My kids got Christmas cards from my aunt, but we've had no face to face contact. They hate me for still talking to their daughter in law (she and my cousin divorced). They think I should shun her. I won't do it. She is my friend and I love her. So, I choose to continue to talk to her and support her. That's what friends do. I would continue to support my cousin that she divorced, too, if he would not be a jerk and act stupid over the fact that I talk to his ex-wife. Dumb.
Anyway, Grandma Rosie kept the family together, I guess. We haven't even gotten together for Thanksgiving or Christmas since she died. It just fell away. I miss her cooking. I miss her coming by and talking, even if it was for ten minutes. I miss going to her house, where everything was pink. My youngest daughter loved that. Pink is her favorite color. And, it is heart breaking when my kids miss her and talk about her. I wish she was here.
And I miss my mom. Yes, she is still alive. Yes, she still lives down the street from us, but she isn't the same. She is sick. She doesn't do the things she used to. She doesn't enjoy life anymore. And it breaks my heart. What really makes me scream is that I will see glimpses of her from time to time, the old her. It is gut-wrenching. I want her back. And I need her. I sit here and cry just typing the words. I haven't said them aloud before. I know she will read this at some point, even perhaps a month from now. I am not writing them to provoke her. I simply needed to put the words on paper.
I also miss the friendships I used to have. Without them I feel alone. I don't really have that "go to" girlfriend in my life right now. Hasn't it been said that every girl/woman needs that?
And last but not least, my job doesn't fulfill me. Point blank. I went back to college after having two kids and got my education degree. It is my passion. I love English, I love to read, and I love passing that on to others. But my job as a teacher does not make me happy. What I am trying to figure out is if anything can make me happy. What kind of job can I do that will make me feel good? Any? Working for minimum wage at a perfume counter? Selling scrapbook supplies? What?
I'm just so lost, aren't I? Therapy, maybe. I should have gotten that for Christmas.

Okay...

So the times I can now sleep in because school is out, I seem to be waking up at 6am. What in the world??? Thus, here I am blogging.

The holidays are past, and the new year is approaching. I survived the Christmas hustle and bustle. So did the kids. They made out like bandits, believe me. The pup is doing great. She is a snuggler and so cute. Today we are off to our second orthodontist consultation. The first one resulted in us being told Patrick is in dire need of braces, and that Mak's are optional. Since the figure was around five thousand a piece, I think we'll stick to getting one set of braces for now. Mak's teeth aren't bad at all; it is purely cosmetic. Pak, on the other hand, has a major overbite and his two front teeth do not even up. (That is putting things mildly and in laymen's terms...)

We are also going to an eye doctor appt. for Syd ("Clovis"). I made the appt. back in early Nov., meanwhile at school they were tested. I got a letter in the mail stating that, "Hey, your child is in need of an eye exam. Without her glasses, she can't see shit!" ...or something to that effect.

Yes, I know. She needs a different prescription in her glasses. I'm aware. I mean, she only tells me daily how she needs new glasses. Duh!

Next will be Cam's eye exam. They just don't understand how I cannot pay for everything all at once! They honestly believe when I sit on the toilet, I must be producing money out of my crack. I'm here to tell them, IT AIN'T SO!

Oh, more news. The tree that had fallen over during yet another wind storm here has been cut down and hauled away as of yesterday. I awoke yesterday to the sound of chainsaws and a wood chipper. We can now see out the kitchen window for miles. Well, not really miles, but you get it.

And, since the window is ginormous, everyone can see us, too. Those driving by on the street can see how beautiful I look with bed head as the kitchen light glows before me. *Not a pretty sight, might I add.*

The Husband is back to work today. Thank goodness because if he had been home a couple more days, he would have exploded at the mess in the house. Christmas gifts to be put away, laundry to be caught up, Playstation and games out, tree still up, decorations still visible, clutter, clutter, clutter. Did I mention clutter? Thought so. So, honey, if you're reading this, be glad you are at work, away from the mess, focused on something else. Send nice caskets to others around the nation.

The kids and I will be off to our travels to various appointments and services. Sorry you'll miss the enormous fun. I know you're envious. I just know it. Ha!

My apologies, please.

I know, I have not posted in a very long time. It has haunted me, believe me. It just seems that whenever I have a chance to post, I either cannot think straight, or it is too late at night. I have been running ragged. I had to prepare for final exams at school (it took me over five hours to make two final exams...), finish grading a very large writing assignment that I gave to my tenth graders, and take care of my own children.

I have a teenager now, Happy Birthday, Mak, and a new baby girl. No, I did not give birth again! We have a new baby girl named Miss Maddie Bea. She is adorable! This puppy is a Yorkie, the same breed that our older dog is, Daisy. This little gal makes Daisy (five pounds) look like a giant. Maddie is 1.6 pounds and should get to be only three pounds full grown. She is precious. She belongs to Mak. That is her one and only Christmas gift. A new puppy was the only thing on her list - she wasn't settling. We tried to bribe her with a motor-skooter (the nice kind that look like a scooter you'd ride around Italy), and many other items. Nope. Wasn't biting at the bit. We talked about it and decided to explore our options. This little girl fell into our lap, coincidentally. So, I guess it was meant to be. *Note: by falling into our laps, I did NOT mean for free, naturally. No, quite the opposite, hence the reason this is her ONE and ONLY gift.

(Clovis, not Mak, holding the pup.)

Today, Christmas Eve, I have decided to be nice and allow my exhusband to have the girls from 2-9pm. I don't have to, but I am going to. Of course, it isn't really the easiest thing to do schedule-wise, but...perhaps a gold star in my heavenly crown awaits me for it.

Before they go, we are having the Husband's parents over. I'm getting ready to chill some wine so that I can offer my sister-in-law some in order to not drink alone. I have to gear up for the visit, you understand. We strategically planned the 1pm visit so that 2pm would roll around and the girls' dad would be here to pick them up..."Oh. Party over. The girls have to leave. Bye-bye."

Yeah, I hope it'll go something like that.

Tomorrow we will open gifts here with all the kids at home. My parents and brother will come over to eat a breakfast feast cooked by dear old me. It has sort of become a tradition over the past five years I have been with the Husband. I enjoy seeing my dad so damn happy to have home cooked food. He loves it. I think it is actually the highlight of the holidays for him.

Around this time he missed his two most beloved people in the world: the dog he had to put to sleep three years ago on Dec. 11, and his mother who died three years ago right before Christmas. It makes the holidays rough. I miss her so much. And my girls do, too. They usually get a gift from my mom that says "from G.G." (stands for Great Grandma - this is what she had the girls call her). It is usually something of hers. I like that. Love you, G.G.

So, to all of you reading, Happy Holidays. Mom, I love you. Dad (Jerry), I love you, too. And to all of my family, I hope you have a Merry Christmas. I'm thinking of you all.

Friends, same to ya!

Thanksgiving Trip Photos

I have a few select photos up on Flickr now of our T-Day trip to NYC. Check 'em out...


Tonight is the Husband's company Christmas party - adults only! Kids are staying all night with Nana. Woohooo!

Today, today

Wow. Today I am so exhausted. I think I said that before, but...

It is amazing - next Monday, a week from today, my oldest daughter will become a teenager! (I did get a compliment at work from a student: "You don't look old enough to have a teenager!") When I think about her birthday, I think back to the day she was born. I'll save that story for next Monday. When her birthday rolls around, I know it is exactly two weeks before Christmas.

I have not even started shopping. NOT EVEN STARTED!!! I hate waiting until this late, but since I have been married to the Husband, we've always done this. I don't like it, but I do it.

We don't have our tree up yet, either. When I was little, we used to put it up the day after Thanksgiving, no question. Now, we don't. I am disgusted with that. You see, it isn't entirely MY fault...the Husband is very particular about The Tree. He has to be the one to assemble it. AND, he has to be the one to put the lights on. He must have 1000 lights, all clear, and they MUST be put just right, or it won't be acceptable. So, the kids and I leave the room while he does this. Before this takes place, however, the huge box must be drug down the stairs, which is no small feat. Sweat is dripping before the first limb of fir is out of the box. Then comes the box of ornaments. This box would be the same size as the box that holds the tree, since it is a box that an old tree was in years ago. Yes, that is how many ornaments we have. Way too many, if you ask me. Some should be discarded. But, then there is that twinge of guilt that slaps you in the face, reminding you of the sentimental value of the ornaments that you think should go. So, they stay - year after year, year after year. It is also a tradition that we started to buy the children a symbolic ornament each year, standing for whatever they are into at the time or the time period of their lives. May sound quacky, but we like it.

I am in over my head with school work. I assigned this "wonderful" assignment and now I have 100 of them to grade. (Long story) I also should be preparing my final exams. That is a job in itself that I can't seem to tackle right now. The Husband is sick -it's his turn!

So, I'll get back to my chores, my responsibilities, my heavy load (whimper. cry. tear.). I have laundry going and must go pick up the boy from practice. Then dinner, then homework, then baths, then ironing, then...then...then...

I'm back

Back to reality, hence the long time away from posting. I mean it - I haven't stopped for air since we got back home from NYC. Our flight home was delayed for over two hours on Sunday, so we didn't get home until close to 1am. It sucked bad.

Other than that mishap, the trip was excellent! Good food, good wine, good times. I simply love NYC. I love being able to be invisible, so to speak. No one there cares what you look like, dress like, talk like, or act like. Everyone and everything is accepted.
I also like how at 3am one can walk not even two blocks and cure their cravings for anything from cannoli to pizza to oysters. Yep, nothing closes. I love that! In contrast, around here in the backwoods of IN, you have to make up your mind quickly if you want a "midnight" snack at 8pm, because the one store we have closes then. It's a sad reality. I'll even go as far to say this:
I feel more comfortable in NYC than I do in Indianapolis, Indiana. I feel safer, secure, and satisfied.

The Husband and I took a trip down memory lane and visited the place where we got married. It was good to see it again and to sit on the large rocks near the Ladies' Pavillion. We saw skaters at both Central Park and Rockefeller Center. We did get to see the famous christmas tree there, too, but of course it wasn't lit until last night (we watched that on t.v.).
We didn't see many famous people on this trip, other than the few who were on a float for the Macy's parade. That was nice because one of my favorites attended the route on a float -- Hall & Oates. I love them. And Julie Andrews.

I didn't get to see Oprah at The Color Purple on Broadway. I knew she'd be celebrating somewhere else for the holidays. I tell you what - for as many plays I have seen in my time, this musical was the absolute best I've witnessed. The music was absolutely amazing. I even bought the CD. I cried, people. I cried. If you have not read the book, you need to do so. It is a quick read and will blow you away with its themes. Wow! Powerful stuff.

We also saw A Chorus Line. It was good also. Some really funny parts in that one. Tits and Ass was the best song in the production.

We went to many shops and quaint stores. Bought the kids some New York stuff. Relaxed when we needed to and ran full steam ahead when we weren't relaxing. The food we had was magnificent. I can't even put it on paper. No words could cover it.

As soon as my lazy butt gets the pics downloaded, I'll post them. Here is a view of the city from an old photo.

Myriad of things, really

Okay. Here are a couple of pics of the living room ceiling I've been telling you about and putting off posting pics of. The one at the top is of a beautiful corner piece in the crown molding. The other is just the plain drywall ceiling with our recessed lighting (without the finishing canister).

In other news...

I do have a few limited fall pictures of the covered bridge where we live. It is about the only "famous" thing around here. I took the kids out there on a cold, windy day and made them get out for a few quick shots. Needless to say, we weren't dressed nor make-up(ed) for the occasion. It was fun anyway.

And, last but not least, we are off tomorrow night for our big Turkey Day vacation. I'll take lots of pictures. And give all of your bests to the Big Apple!!!!!

Cosmopolitans here I come...

Our house...in the middle of our street...

This is a picture of the sidewalk in front of our house last fall. I love the colors of the trees. This year was different. The leaves didn't really turn colors. It was as though they skipped that stage and went straight to falling off onto the ground, already dead. Fall wasn't fun this year. We had an early frost so that all of the pumpkins were ruined before my family even got to go to the patch. I was literally heart broken. So, I drug this picture out to bask in the memories of last fall.

Our house looks so stauesque in this picture. It is a bit misleading as well. I mean, after all, it does have the white picket fence that is a symbol of the American Dream. Think about what the American Dream means to you. The white picket fence isn't really representative of it, is it? Sure, the house we have is gorgeous and the fence, too. But, even in this small midwestern town, there are the roots of evil among us. For example, the mailbox that is hidden behine the largest tree on the left is no longer there. A new mailbox had to be put up in its place because a local teen was driving along at noon on a quiet Saturday and plowed into it with his car. You see, he was high on multiple kinds of drugs. Thank God not one of my children were riding their bikes on that sidewalk you see. Because had they been, they would have died. That, my friends, is tragedy. Just three weeks ago I saw someone outside walking on this same sidewalk. I went out to get the mail and who was that person? None other than the boy who ran over our mailbox himself. He was walking as a free man, without a care in the world, it seemed. He hasn't even paid us for the damages to our property yet, but he is allowed to walk right past the crime scene as if nothing happened. (I use crime scene in loose terms, naturally...) It took all I had not to say something to that boy. But I didn't. I simply thanked the Lord that he didn't hit one of my kids or my husband mowing the yard that day.

Next week this time, I will be getting ready for a big trip with the Husband. It is a trip we have definitely earned, so to speak. I am trying to get over this flu bug and the whooping cough that I must have gotten from my daughter. It has kicked my butt, let me tell you. Today was my first day back at work and the first day out of bed (other than tending to the young) since Saturday. And Lord knows, if I am not able to get up to eat, there is definitely something severely wrong! My students missed me. The administrators probably did not. That's okay. I'm there for the students anyway, when you get right down to it. My time at that school is coming to a quick close. I am thankful in some ways, but in some ways sad. There are those certain students whom I hate to leave. And some fellow teachers I will miss. I just hope I have touched someone's life there and inspired them in some way. I digress...back to the trip...

So, the Husband and I will leave for NYC and spend Thanksgiving there. We have on the agenda the following:

Turkey Day: Macy's Parade, perhaps Letterman, and dinner at Tavern on the Green

Next day: seeing Broadway's The Color Purple, dinner at Sardi's, and probably a jazz club

Next day: matinee of A Chorus Line (tickets courtesy of a fellow producer who worked with Husband's uncle), a grand dinner somewhere, and shopping!

Sunday: stroll through Central Park, more shopping, an afternoon cocktail or three, and get ready to return to the rat race, relaxed and filled with great holiday memories.

Who can't love that? I am so excited I am getting to the point where I can't sleep. I think I'm gonna squeal...

It's my turn

It's my turn to be sick now. Since Friday, all I have wanted to do is simply lie down. Nothing else. Yesterday, I had the chills so badly I was dressed in layers and under two covers in my bed. Bad part? I can't relax enough to really rest well. I mean EVERYTHING hurts. I don't want to walk, bend down to sit on the toilet, nothing. And I have my bi-annual bronchitis cough with no voice. I have taken so much Advil and Tylenol that I think I feel my stomach lining peeling away.
And to top it off? The Husband leaves on his week-long Disney trip tomorrow. I am alone with the children all week. I have to work, and do everything here. Don't know how I'm gonna do it.
I'll write more later when I am coherent.
Could be days, naturally...

I swear.

I swear to you I had planned on uploading pictures of the remod. I sincerely do not have the patience to wait on my slow camera to upload the photos onto my computer, then transfer them, yadda, yadda, yadda. I just don't have it in me, folks. Isn't that sad and terrible? I thought so, too.

On a brighter note, the Husband and I are taking a trip to NYC for Turkey Day Holiday. Just the two of us. We have scheduled to see the Macy's Parade, the Broadway play The Color Purple, and Turkey Day Fixins at Tavern on the Green. If that doesn't sound like a rip-roarin' good time, I don't know what does. Plus, we will shop and root around for fun. A couple of clubs, a few drinks, good music (Birdland Jazz Club) and we'll be set. I simply can't wait.

The oldest daughter is still not feeling well. We are both over it.
Last night I had to move to the couch around 3am because the Husband was absolutely sucking in the roof with his snoring. I couldn't even wake him up. So, my night didn't go well. The couch just isn't the same sometimes, and last night was one of those nights.

I'm going to rant and whine for just a second longer, and then I'll allow the charades to stop... middle daughter, Cam, in fifth grade continues to bring home "busy work" from school. I have done more homework than I care to in the last few months than I remember ever doing. It's sickening. Like, what do they do all day at school - pick their noses? Work on building relationships? What? Even at the high school level (which I teach), I try not to send home much homework. Maybe I'm too liberal. Or maybe I am too realistic - knowing that it won't get done. Who knows. But, the antics can stop. I don't want or need any more homework this year. I already went through fifth grade. I don't want to do it all over again. Plus, it makes me red with rage. I don't need that, either. I have enough of that already.

Pass the Advil, please.

I am getting older. Not that I am that old chronologically, but in physical capabilities, I'm gettin' up there.
For instance, this weekend the Husband and I finished up on some of the remod projects. We wiped down walls, ceilings, baseboards, etc. with Murphy's Oil Soap. We also took everything off the living room bookshelves and wiped each thing down (that we decided to keep). This included books, books, and more books; toys, movies, and board games; and picture frames, pottery, and more. Did I say EACH item? Yes.
After that, the Husband primed, painted, and painted some more. (still having some left to do later on) See, I am not allowed to paint. He is an expert painter - one of those types that can freehand trim pieces and follow lines with the slight of his hand. I, on the other hand, wouldn't be able to paint a straight line. Putting on lipstick is about my extent. That is painting enough for me. So, while he painted, I continued on normal things like dusting, laundry, dishes, and such.
In the end, we also swept up the entire living room floor and mopped it from end to end, moving what little items still exist in that room. There were plenty, don't get me wrong. Couch, chair, table with four chairs for overflow of Christmas brunch, end tables, hutch, dry sink (antique), tv and entertainment equipment. I also had to vacuum out the furniture for the third time. Drywall dust consumes everything. Even if you cover it, it doesn't work entirely.
Back to my point -- I am sore as all get out today. My muscles hurt. I am a weakling like I have never been before. This proves how much my body has turned into the corpse I am letting it become. I'm decaying. My muscles are now merely pools of cellulite, unable to be used. If it takes more effort than walking a short distance, I'm out of the game. I could ingest more Advil than Wal-Mart can provide today, and I'd still be hurting. (not recommended, folks - just a figure of speech)
But darnit, the house looks and smells better.
I'm sure it reminds the Husband of the good ol' days when his grandmother lived here. She used to wipe down the kitchen cabinets with Murphy's Oil Soap every week. I'll never live up to that.

In other news...
The oldest daughter, Mak, reported that she slept all night at her dad's on Friday night. First full night's sleep in a while. Maybe we are on the road to recovery, finally. Today is her last dose of antibiotic, but the medicine is said to last another five to ten days in her system, acting as though she is till taking it. (Z-pack, it is called) So, let's hope so.
I sent for her homework from last week at school. Get this - only two teachers sent anything for her to do. Nice.

Gotta run - time to go pick up the girls from their dad's house. Can't wait to hear the familiar words, "We're starving!! We only ate breakfast then again at 4:00, so that was LUNCH!" Happens every other Sunday like clockwork.
I'll post pictures of the advancement in projects on the house soon...

Hello, edge. GERANIMO!

That's me, going over the edge; off the deep end, as they say. It's happening.

Daughter went to school with me today so that I could immediately take her to the doctor (hour and 15 minutes away from my school) on my prep, while someone covered my last class for me. Once the administration finds out, they'll probably nab me. Does it get any better?

So, doctor says that she probably has whooping cough. The one they vaccinate babies for? Yep. Seems as though there is now a resurgance of the illness, more common among adults, but can happen to anyone. In China, doc said, it is called the "100 day cough". There apparently is a window in which, if given the CORRECT antibiotics, it can be curbed. He believes we are still within that window. Good news? I guess. Bad news? Nothing you can do about supressing the cough. Absolutely nothing. The antibiotics just have to work (which takes days, you know). In the mean time, suffer. He could have taken an expensive, unreasonable blood test to be sure, but he said it doesn't make the treatment any different, so why not just give her this change of antibiotic to cover all bases. Sure, I agreed.
I pay the co-pay and move on to the pharmacy. I am called back to the pharmacy, which resulted in me being told my insurance said they cancelled us yesterday, and that the generic form of her medicine would be $55. I called the Husband. He was angered, but said pay it and he'll send it off manually. Enraged, I called the company Husband previously worked for (not more than 3 weeks ago). Yep, the benefits don't continue the full 30 days past the day of termination/resignation. They end on the last day of the month in which the employee still worked there, hence the benefits ending yesterday. Screwed. Plainly screwed.
So, now that the Husband is at a new, better company, we are uninsured until November 9th. And with my luck, who knows what the hell will happen. I said to my daughter on the way home: "God help us all that we don't have a car wreck or break a bone!"
Oh, the luck. I'm lookin' over the deep end, ready to jump. (no bungee cords attached)

It's 12:54 A.M., do you know where your children are?

That's right. That is exactly what time it is here, and I am posting on here. I am awake, alert, and cannot sleep. Why, you ask? Because my daughter is up coughing her head off. I have gone through an entire bottle of prescription cough medicine, almost emptied an inhaler, a bottle of Tylenol and Advil, and she is almost done with a heavy dose of antibiotic. I am at my wits' end. I have missed work, been pardoned there for one day (with much effort), and can't seem to find two hours to take her to a doctor who can help her further.
My mother took her to the clinic here in town. That, obviously, has not helped. So, now, I believe she needs to go to her "real" doctor in the town 35 minutes away. I can't take her there because they close before I can get home, get her, and drive there. Her real Dad can't do squat for her, so that's out. My Husband can't take off work at his new job; that's out. My mom is on vacation two states away; that's out. I wouldn't dare ask my mother-in-law; that's out. No Aunts or Uncles to do the duty; that's out. So?? Stuck. Period. I don't want to call the clinic where she went - evidently they don't know what they are doing. I'm telling you, these illnesses are taking over my life. My daughter can't sleep from coughing; I can't sleep because she can't sleep. We are both going insane.