July 4th in another part of the U.S.

Happy Independence Day to all from Birmingham, Alabama. Tomorrow we will arrive at our destination. The drive today wasn't bad at all. I slept quite a bit, so it broke up the monotonity of the drive. We at a BBQ place called Dreamland tonight. It is pretty much on campus of University of Alabama Birmingham. That campus is an urban campus with pretty buildings. Some college folks across the street from the restaurant were having a small party. I so badly wanted to run up their long steps to the porch and ask for a cold drink. I refrained. I'm too old for that kind of thing, after all.
I can't wait to be at the beach. It is calling...

Outta Here

In around twenty-four hours I will be setting sail with my family to greener pastures. No, not moving, just vacation. We are going to Gulf Shores, Alabama. This trip was a last minute planning device set off by The Husband. I had resisted the trip since its mention, but finally agreed to its existence. I had a couple of conditions to which He must agree before I moved forward into accepting the invitation.
1- no griping about money in the near future when things came up that were needed
2- I was adamant about not liking the long car drive. - I will take Tylenol PM and sleep - no driving for me nor keeping my eyes open much along the way.
3- I must purchase a new novel to take and read on the beach.

Since 1, 2, and 3 were agreed upon, I let down the protest and am going on the trip. Don't get me wrong - I love the beach with every fiber of my being. It is the place I long to be. It is even on my bucket list to own waterfront property (or rent) someday. It is just there is a lot going on with me getting ready for this new job and not having an income for the summer. I also do not think I can deal with arguing kids in a vehicle for 11 hours. Just don't think I can do it. So, they better behave or I'll lose it. (If I can hear them through the drug induced coma I'll be in.)
Bon Voyage!!

Pretty Face

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Originally uploaded by pinkdaisypea

My main man, Griffey Jr., at a Reds game. I have many pics, including those of some Red Sox players. Game was awesome, view of him was grand! Head over to flickr and check more out! (look for "ngraue" photos if you can't get there through the link on this page)

OH, boy.

I am up right now at 3a.m. with my youngest daughter. She has a severe earache. She gets this about once a summer. I try my hardest to maintain that she not get water in her ears to settle. I put alchohol in them if she feels like she has water in them after swimming. To no avail. She gets this at least once. She is awake, in pain, for the second night in a row. No Advil helps, no numbing drops help. She is frantic. She says it feels like her ear is bleeding and that she has had surgery on her jaw (where it connects to her ear). So, I suppose that tomorrow, on the day when we were supposed to go do something fun since I am not babysitting anyone, we will go to the doctor. Not fun at all. The older two are gonna throw a fit. Just part of motherhood. Maybe I'll get to sleep in on Saturday?!

2 out of 3

As of 5:09a.m. this morning, two out of my three daughters are teenagers. My middle daughter, Cammi, is now 13. I only have one left to turn into a raging, hormonal teen.
Remembering back thirteen years ago, I was in bad shape at this hour on June 21, 1995--I had a patchwork quilt sewn into my female area. I asked how many stitches the doc had to use and his reply was, "You mean, how many packages of stitches?!" Yes, what you are thinking is exactly right. OUCH! Cam was a big baby. She weighed almost nine pounds. I was in labor for a long while and pushed for a very long while. It was to the point that if she wasn't stuck half in half out of my body, we would have been wheeling to the operating room for an emergency C-section. But, it was too far gone to do so. The doctor tried forceps, the vacuum thing where a suction is put on the baby's head, and good old fashioned pulling. It was rough. She finally came out, though. I was so out of it from pushing so hard that I could not see straight - literally. My vision was blurred for hours. I think I might have even been cross-eyed.
Through all of that, I was blessed with a healthy baby girl. She is now a teenager. It is hard to believe.

Dad's Day

It is Father's Day. I checked out the secrets over at PostSecret and they are mostly about fathers. One email they printed, in particular, was about how cards never really "fit" some fathers. How true that is. Sure, I could go pick one out for my fathers, but none really explain the exact sentiment I want to convey.
Given that, I sit and ponder what a father means to me, both in the sense of my OWN fathers, and the fathers of others I know.
For those of you who don't know me well, I didn't meet my biological father until I was sixteen. When I did finally meet him, it was as though I was looking into a mirror. I finally got to see where I got my legs, facial features, and smile from. It was the most inexplainable event in my life. Since he and I are very far apart -- he lives in Florida -- it is difficult to have a very close relationship that I long for with him. Sure, I love the man I call "Dad". He was my father, raising me all those years, and still is today. But, to no understanding of the greater of society, I will always have a connection and love for my biological father. It makes me intensely sad and introspective to think of it. I will call him today and wish him a happy dad's day. I will tell him I love him and mean it. I will tell him I miss him, too. That won't do my feelings justice, but it's all I have.
As for my "Dad", I will drive up the street, see him, give him a card, and tell him I love him, too. As for The Husband, I have a card for him as well. It suggests a long nap. Hahahaha. Unfortunately, he is outside cleaning out the gutters on the house, will then mow, and will vacuum out the pool that we can't get clear. Not much of a Father's Day for him! We did go to the Cincinnati Reds game yesterday versus the Boston Red Sox. It was a dandy! I was ten feet away from Ken Griffey, Jr. Hott! ANd, AND, I got some sweet pictures I will post later to flickr. Happy Father's Day to all!!!

Older

My oldest daughter decided she wanted to get her hair cut. Now, to most, this wouldn't be any big news. But, with her, it was monumental. She NEVER wants to get it cut. I don't mean trimmed; I mean cut. So, I made the appt. for today and we went.
She picked out a haircut from a magazine based on the singer, Rhianna. For those of you who don't know her, she is a hip, young, black girl who happens to be quite a good singer. So, the haircut ensued.
When Sara (hairstylist) bent Mak's head toward the ground and sliced off about four inches at the nape of her neck, I thought I might choke. There was no going back. Upon completion, the haircut looked really cute. One major note: the haircut aged her about four years. Translation: SCARY AS HELL FOR MOM!!!

Proud to be a Panther

I will be an employee of a school --- did you all hear me correctly??? ANd, AND...I will get to be the Yearbook advisor ---- AS A CLASS! I am so pumped. Finally, finally, finally.
I, for once in my life, am speechless at the moment.

This is the shitznizzle!!!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Friends

It is difficult to know exactly how much friends mean to us unless there is a situation when those friends aren't around anymore, or we see very little of them. As I get older, I have come to realize that friends have so much value and add so much to people's lives. The reason I know this is because, unlike 15 years ago, my friends are essentially non-existent. Sure, I have a few people whom I talk to from time to time, but not the type of friends that I simply "can't live without" talking to on a daily/weekly basis. You know, the kind of friend that you have to call no matter what hour of the night to tell them a brilliant idea you just had. Or the type of friend that you call and simply weep, them knowing what is wrong without you even saying a word. The type of friend who you can shop with and not kill one another. The kind of friend you can pick up when they are down just as quickly as they can pick you up. I miss having the kind of friend who just stops by for the heck of it, without calling first. I miss having a friend who can listen to the angst of motherhood without judging you, seeing you as a horrible mother. I miss the friend who relishes in MY children's achievements right along with me and vice versa. I often wonder: how can I go through the rest of my life without a friend like that? I am missing out on so much. At the same time, where I am in my life right now, I'm not sure I would be the kind of friend someone else needs. (if that makes ANY sense) I'm not sure I can commit to offering all of that. Probably why I am friendless, I'm thinking.

Graduation Day

As I was eating my morning cereal, (too lazy to "fix" anything), I was thinking back to my graduation day so long ago. When I graduated high school I was fifth in my class ranking. That meant I not only got an academic letterman's jacket, but I also got to have all of those colorful chords that a person gets to sport over his/her graduation gown. Our gowns were white while the men's were maroon. Not really smart if you think about it - it would have been better for the men to wear white so that the prints of beautiful dresses didn't show through the white material for the ladies. Anyway... I do use the term "men" loosely - they were boys, actually.
So as I ventured back into the memories gallery I tried to remember how I was feeling on my high school graduation day. I had mixed emotions. I was thrilled that my biological father and his parents were in attendance. I was also somewhat loaded with guilt and frustration because I wanted to be with my friends at the same time as spending as much time with my father as possible while he was here (he lives in Florida - long way away). It all worked out, thankfully, but it was on my mind nonetheless.
I was not dating anyone specifically at the time of my graduation. This was a bit of an oddity for me. Let's put it this way - I was between boyfriends. What this meant was that I had more time to spend with my three best friends who were boys in my class. We did a lot of hanging out together toward the end of the school year and the beginning of summer before we all headed our own ways. Today, we barely speak. My how time changes things. You see, I only had two real "girlfriends" in high school. Sure, I got along with most people, but I only had two close friends who were girls. I simply couldn't stand the drama. I didn't care who was sleeping with whom, or who got in trouble for doing such and such. Or who was mad at whom for some stupid comment that was made. It was all so trivial to me, I didn't care. So, I surrounded myself with boys who didn't care how I dressed, didn't blink if I didn't wear makeup one day, and didn't care if I farted while bending over at my locker. They accepted me for who I was, not what someone wanted me to be. And that, my friends, is the lesson of the day: be who you are and surround yourself with the people who love you for just that.
It was good to look back at my own graduation day. I re-learned something as well.

Summer, Summer, Summertime...(will smith song)

Only three more days of school left. Can you say "yee-haw"??!! I am ready for homework to be over, agendas to not be signed, and to relax a little. Of course, no pay for the summer, but...
My plans include lying by the pool, drinking cool soft drinks, and lying by the pool. I might intertwine some scrapbooking in there somewhere, but my plans are wide open. The latter half of the summer will be without the girls for the most part, but I'm sure they'll end up calling me and wanting me to pick them up early or something similar. There will be nothing to do at their dad's house.
Tomorrow I have been hand-picked to provide fruit salad for the special education senior breakfast. Coupled with the fact that I have been asked for money for senior gifts from the department and for baby shower "go together" money for a gift. I do NOT have enough money to throw around at the drop of a hat. If I were making full time teacher pay, perhaps I could do that. Newsflash: I'm NOT making teacher pay. Anyway...
I am off to attend my middle daughter, Cammi's, softball game. It has rained here quite a bit, so it ought to be a muddy one. *** Oh, both she and Sydney (Clovis) received medals for having all A's and B's this year at school. I'm smiling! They get their brains from me, obviously.

Flu Bug

**Please don't let me get this shit!**

Spent the night in the emergency room with The Husband. Got home around 3:30?? and finally crashed. He was blacking out and being totally weird (hallucinating sort of) when I took him in before midnight. He wasn't vomiting then, but as soon as we get to the hospital he ralphed violently. And often. He was sweating, pale, shaking - it was bad. So, pumped him with a bag of fluids, gave him some intestinal relaxing medication, and sent us home later with two prescriptions. By the time I drove home, I was ready to hallucinate from needing sleep.
If I get this shit, all hell will break loose. I mean, seriously. The world doesn't stop when Momma gets sick - it just keeps on spinnin'. And that, my friends, will be out of control.
So my "other daughter" started a blog for cathartic reasons that I assured her were grand. It is called 100 Miles a Minute. Fitting for her personality. Check it out. It's a newborn blog.
In other news...
Weather here sucks dirty goat balls. The pool is open and we can't swim in it because IT WON'T STOP RAINING!!!!! My middle daughter is supposed to have a softball game tonight - if it isn't cancelled, they'll be swimming in brick dust to first base. That'll be nice to launder, won't it?
I feel so badly for leaving my co-workers in a pinch today. They will be short-staffed and will be "roughing it" without me. We were already going to be one teacher short today. OOOPS! Mother Nature calls. When one vomits, one must stay home. When Husband blacks out, one must stay home with him. When one sleeps for only two hours, one must get more sleep during the day(during work hours). And so it goes.

Blue waters

Finally! The pool is blue and undergoing its cleaning phase. The chemicals are hard at work, the filter is swirling the water, and the heater will be turned on after it storms tomorrow. It's gonna be a doozie when we can get in there and create havoc! Just a couple more days until full fledged swimming!!!!!

The kids were so terribly disappointed on Sunday evening when returning from their respective "other parents" houses that the older two got on old clothes and jumped in the brown/green fuzzy, cold water. Pictures are blurry, but worth it.

Several

Several people (adults and teens) that I have come in contact with over the past week have told me very similar stories. It has made me ponder a few things... These stories are basically this: these individuals have had an overwhelming sense of anxiety and despair for no apparent reason. For instance, one person said they felt like they were on the edge of a very big anxiety attack, that they just felt like crying for some unknown reason. Another stated that he had "had a shitty week" but couldn't really give concrete examples of experiences and/or situations to make him feel so. Yet another person stated she almost called me to come over because she knew she should not be alone with the way she was feeling. She was very depressed and in a bad place in her heart.
These are only a few instances out of many I could speak of. So, what gives? The weather is trying to become better, things are blooming (finally), and the days are filled with more hours of sunlight than winter. Is is the way the economy, country, and society members are? Are we in serious emotional trouble as a whole?
I have been told I have been in a mood over the past few weeks by observers. I really haven't felt that way on the inside, but I am apparently acting foul on the outside. Am I included in this turn of personalities? Sure, financially I am feeling overwhelmed, but that is nothing new. I am ready for school to be over, but I am also worried what the next school year might bring or not bring. Are these concerns coming out in my personality towards those at home? If so, how do I cure that? How does anyone?
As I sit at my computer today, off work for my pool opening (I have to wait on the workers to make sure they do what they are supposed to and to pay them...), I am burdened with thoughts. Deep thoughts. Sometimes life doesn't make sense.

Per request...

Once upon a time, not long ago, I met this little girl who was trying to find her way. She was in high school, though not yet mature. I was an adult already (in the most bare sense of the word). I was trying so hard to teach her and her classmates things like "Beware the Ides of March" and "Direct objects take the action of the verb" and "Paragraphs are made up of AT LEAST five sentences - I don't care what your previous teachers told you - 3 to 5 don't cut it" and so forth. This little girl wasn't having any of it. Instead, she wanted to sit by Big Boy in the classroom where she could peer into his eyes and watch his mouth speak. She wanted to sleep if she could not do otherwise.

The little girl was quaint and quirky. After some observation on my part, I felt the need to give her a nickname of sorts. It just sort of happened; I didn't really set out to give her one on the spur of the moment. So, after noticing that she rolled her eyes when I told her to do something, or when she used body language to tell me to eat shit and die, I happened to let a nickname slip off the end of my tongue. It came out, "Princess". You know the kind I speak of: a girl who seems to have been given what she wants when she wants it??? Yes, that kind of Princess. The kind that can do no wrong in the eyes of her family. The nickname fit. And it stuck.

Further into the school year, the little girl matured in her own way. She moved on from sitting by Big Boy and sat with her friend, Kelsey most days. The two of them began a tradition of having to go to the bathroom during their English period. They just "HAD TO!" and they had to go together. As if one of them might not be able to find their way back without the other. So, I also began calling the pair of them The Poop Sisters, or The Poop Twins, or something similar. Princess is still in my life today, after five years. She is a big girl now in college. I even talked her into going to MY school, Indiana University. I talk with her often, most of the time more than twice a week. She is my go-to gal on my parenting questions (from a "teen"/young adult perspective); my listener; my ease-your-way-into-having-a-daughter-grow-up consultant; and a person who I love and adore. She doesn't call me her "other mother" for nothing! I have learned so much from her about life and the pursuit of happiness. It is wonderful to have her perspective to ponder. I think it will only make me a better mother to my own daughters. Or so I hope.

Ahhhh, Princess. The story of your birth, so to speak. Perhaps you can rest more easily now? haha

Everyone's talking about it

Yes, we felt the Illinois earthquake here in Indiana. And in Kentucky (melody), and in Ohio. My daughter Mak was preparing to go to her 8th grade trip to Chicago yesterday morning at 5am. (departure time was 5:10am, so I had to be up against my will) She had been dropped off at school, I had rushed home to return to bed, and I was in the midst of trying to return to sleep. I was in that drunken stage where sleep is not too far off, and the mind is in a fog. I thought I heard a tree limb hit the roof above my head. Then, the bed started vibrating and the bench at the foot of our bed began to hit the bedframe, resulting in a knocking noise. I looked over at the Husband, thinking he was twitching and causing the noise. Nope. The dogs raised their heads and looked at me like, "What are you two doing? IT???!!" Nope. By the time I was about to get out of bed to investigate, my sleep drunkenness came back to me and I dozed off. After waking up Cam around 6:30, she asked me if I felt an earthquake in the middle of the night. I laughed. "An earthquake? Cam, I think it was a squirrel on the roof or something." See, I didn't have a concept of how long the shaking/noise went on. Remember? I was in that sleep fog I spoke of. "Yes, an EARTHQUAKE," she said. I laughed it off. Then Patty got up and turned on the news a little bit later and confirmed it was an earthquake. I was flabbergasted. I never thought that living in Indiana I would experience an earthquake. It was wild!
I called Mak on the bus to Chicago and she said they weren't able to feel it on the bus, but that multiple parents had called their children to ask them about it. I'm sorry she was awake but didn't get to experience it.

April

We are almost halfway into April and I haven't posted yet. Such a slacker. There for a couple of weeks the weather was decent here, then it all went downhil as of Thursday and Friday this week. It is now back to turning on the furnace. I absolutely hate it!
Cammi, middle daughter, stole the show in the musical Alice in Wonderland, Jr. at her school on Thurs. and Friday. She played the Queen of Hearts, which is a nasty queen who bosses and screams at others. It was great! She didn't even have a microphone on her. She still could be heard by all. I am so proud of her. She could definitely go somewhere with her talent - I mean, this is only her sixth grade year and she projects, sings on key, and enunciates! What a dream.
I took the kids to the movies last night along with multiple friends/girlfriends and such. We saw Prom Night. DUMB!!! The kids had a good time, though.
I have been struck with a sinus headache from hell today. Feel like I am having an out of body experience. Doesn't help that I am anxious about applying for some posted teaching positions and now the website I need to get to in order to do so is "experiencing technical difficulties". Modern technology - ain't it grand?!
It was Little 5 weekend at IU this weekend. A good family friend who attends there called me last evening and said how much fun she and the other Hoosiers were having. I didn't receive further calls from jail, so it must have ended up okay. hahahah
BRING SPRING BACK!!!!!!!! ----- nina

March Madness

While walking into school yesterday with a couple students nearby, I quickly turned to them and noticed they both had their hoods up, coats zipped, and hands in their pockets as if freezing to death might occur at any given moment. I then spoke, "I'm ready to move to Florida or someplace warm. Aren't you?!" They both agreed and decided that if I'm going, so are they. I talked with my co-workers and two of them are gearing up for the big move as well. You see, it was around 60 degrees here a few days ago. It was in the 30's yesterday. I'm totally over it. Apparently, so are most others.
In better news, our pool opening is scheduled for May 2. I'm stoked.

Hodge Podge

My oldest daughter is sick. We have gone through the following:
Strep Throat test
Mono test
CBC, Liver and kidney function, anemia, and thyroid blood tests
All came back negative for any abnormalities, however she continues to grow worse with fatigue, blisters on her throat, and headache. (loss of appetite, too) So now, what is there to do? The doctor did call in a broad antibiotic to cover his a**. She is going to school because she knows she will have way too much homework if she doesn't. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I've been giving her Tylenol and Advil like candy.

A student of mine received word that he is in a "pickle". His brother texted him to say that their mom found "various smoking supplies" in his room while cleaning, that she is thoroughly ticked, and that she plans on taking him to the doctor for a drug test. (This was yesterday.) So, the sad part is that he got the m.j. from his own father's room. Yes, his father has a "problem" with m.j. and alcohol. Sad, huh? So, when his mom asked him to take her outside and show her where he got it, he simply had to turn to his dad and say, "Dad, I didn't get it from outside." His dad replied that he understood his son got if from him. Sad.

Insomnia

I have watched TV on the couch, taken Advil, been to my bed with no success of sleep, talked with two of my daughters who are still awake, and simply cannot go to sleep. It isn't because I slept in too long or took naps either. I got up before 9am. (We are on Spring Break from school.) My gut is turning over and over and I feel nauseous. Sounds fun, right?

Water, Getcha Water!

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Weekend Update from Indiana

Hi, y'all. Most people won't care what it is like in Indiana because people who have some smarts about them don't live here; however, I'm inclined to tell all about it nonetheless.
Indiana weather has sucked the past month or so. We have had several snow days (i.e. burrowed down in the house with four kids and nothing to do), some two-hour delays, and much cold. As I have stated before, I do not like the cold. I don't like not being able to just "pick up and go" to whatever destination I want to go. Around here, (this will be a jaw-dropper for city folk), when the temperature is predicted to be around freezing, humans come out of the woodwork and raid stores within a 30 mile radius to buy bread, eggs, milk, and toilet paper. As if the entire world WILL come to an end if ice and/or snow is present. It is an amazing sight to see. I have been in stores in the winter around here when there is not ONE loaf of bread on the shelf. I'm not even kidding.
So, kids, the moral of all of this is that if you live in a warm place, take comfort. I am jealous, envious, and downright pissed that I have to endure this weather and you don't. Childish? Yes. Do I care? No.
P.S. As a post script to a previous post about troubles, my husband and I have been reamed by the Unites States Government and found we owe several, several thousands of dollars to the IRS due to snafus in our taxes. Just how can a family of six pick up several thousand dollars to wisk off in an envelope to Washington, D.C. anyway? HUH? What was that you said? Yes, I believe someone out there probably said something like, "Oh shit!" or close to it. My sentiments exactly, flowered with many tears.
And who said God doesn't give you more than you can handle?

Feb.

It is already February. The Superbowl has come and gone - Go Giants! - and I am so excited that the Pats got their asses kicked. (Not by the score, but by the sly moves in the fourth quarter.) It was the next best thing to the Colts winning.
It seems everyone at work (co-workers) is in somewhat of a mood. We are mostly sick, as true with the students as well, and we are all broke. It is like we are scraping around for lunch money. Doesn't debt and bills make you crazy, too? Does it seem to you that a dollar doesn't go very far? It makes most people stressed and anxious. No wonder we are a Prozac Nation.
Some of the things happening to the people at work, perhaps including myself in a couple of instances:
*daughter has been sick for well over two months; taking her to a pulmonary specialist at Riley Hospital tomorrow.
*new sink and plumbing that was outrageous and unexpected (guess who)
*flu
*funerals
*leased car going over its mileage
*straight line winds damaging SUV door worth $800
*gained a foreign exchange student from Malasia (not really a negative, but stressful nonetheless)
*kids coughing and snotting
*field trip costs adding up for multiple children
*teenagers "eating parents out of house and home"
*borrowing money
--------and the list could go on--------------
So, anyone care to share their sorrows?
Let it all hang out, so to speak.

Hoosier Hoops

We are amidst the basketball extravaganza, folks! I have three basketball seasons going simultaneously and drama (play) practice to cart children to. You should see my calendar. It looks like a pencil threw up on it.

We do have a new sink, disposal, faucet, and pipes in the kitchen. Over a thousand dollars later, it is working like a charm. Now when I turn the garbage disposal on, it doesn't sound like shrapnel hitting the blades of an airplane engine. It is actually quiet - like so quiet I could run it while others in the house sleep. Different!

It was below zero here today. Hate it. Makes me wonder just how anyone could play football playoff games in subzero weather. I mean, getting hit by a two hundred pound bully is one thing, but getting hit by one with frozen bones makes me cringe even more.

You're not going to believe this.

Just when I thought I would have an "ok" night, I begin to clean out the frig (leftovers). I put some rice down the sink where the garbage disposal is located and turned the thing on. Fine. Another bowl of rice and bits of veggies - ate it up, too. Then, when I thought it was time to turn the disposal off, I reached for the switch and heard bubbling - yep, from the other side of the sink. Dirty, stinky, chunky water was coming up from the side of the sink opposite of the one I was using. I turned the disposal off, and water began rising in both sides then. I left it, not wanting to create further damage, until Husband got home. I put the bowls I had recently emptied into the dishwasher when I heard gurgling from its bowels, too.
Husband got home, tried to work on it, ended up getting the wet/dry vac out, and cussing me a storm. Nope, still plugged and smells like hell.
What in the sam hell did I do to deserve this nonsense? Honestly! So, now as we continue to dirty up dishes, we must rinse them in the laundry room mud sink. I seriously need a break here! We have no plumbers that we "know", nor do we have the money to blow on one we don't know. Ah, the joys of living in an historic (code for "old") home. Ain't life grand?!

There's more than Corn in Indiana?

I'm not sure if it is Seasonal Affective Disorder or what, but I am having a really hard time with where I am right now. I look outside and it is totally BLAH. I live in Indiana, where it seems there is nothing but empty fields of brown. We have had weird weather: rain, flooding, storms, dark days, minimal snow. Now, I do not like snow, don't get me wrong, but what I dislike even more is the atmosphere that appears outside right now. It is so drab. Even snow would be better at this point. (Those of you who really know me are holding your heart right now, not believing you just heard me say what I said. Wanting snow? I've lost it, I know.)
Indiana's weather is just yuck. Unpredictable. Makes me want to move.
It seems I am not alone in my rough times right now. At work, some of us in the Special Ed. department had a heart to heart chat two days ago. From my observations, it seems to be an epidemic - the yucky thoughts and down-in-the-dumps feelings. At least I am not an island here - some feel the same way I do. That is comforting.
By the way, boy within our department suspended for saying, "Well, I guess I'll just blow up the school then!" True, he is not all there mentally, but had to make a point with him that you just don't go around saying those things. Even if you are mentally challenged. You know?

Holidays and Hippos

The holidays are over and it is back to school business tomorrow. The two weeks we've been off have flown by. We have increased the grocery bills, cranked up the heat, and relished in all our new gifts. Now, back to school.

My great Christmas gift was a new Nikon D40 camera from The Husband. I had expressed great want (and need) for the camera but then told him to not buy it because it was just way too expensive. Nope, he did it anyway. I love it. I can't wait to experiment with it when the colors outside are beautiful. I did get to use it for a good cause when the old man next door to us had yet another accident involving his car. (see posts in April/May) The "Crazy Guy" as we call him ran right on through his detached garage with his car for the second time in three weeks. Yep. You heard me correctly. This time he did not take the ENTIRE wall of his garage out like he did a few weeks back. This is because it had just been re-built with more support. Bet the guys who worked on that for a week were pissed!

Here are a few photos, but you can go to my flickr page and check more out. Remember to buckle up!!!

Ebenezer

Get back, Ebenezer Scrooge. Friday evening the Husband and I ventured out to finish our Christmas shopping for the kids. We accomplished it, but we were not having much fun. First, we left around 6pm to drop off my stepson to his mother. This was after she was shitty with me about meeting somewhere different than where we normally meet. Now, take note that I suggested we meet CLOSER TO WHERE SHE LIVES INSTEAD OF THE USUAL PLACE WHICH IS CLOSER TO US, NOT HER! Why be shitty with me over that? Exactly!
After dropping Pak off, we headed to Greenwood where there are many stores that SHOULD'VE had the items we needed. I said "should have". Through all of the hustle and bustle, there was much fright. You see, the Husband had a moving kidney stone during this entire excursion. Yep. Two pain pills didn't even touch the pain. And, I believe I have mentioned before, he doesn't even like Christmas. Hates it, in fact. So given the conditions, it was pleasantries all around.
We did get finished, returning home after midnight. I had to drive, which I normall don't do when we go somewhere together, and I was in dire need of two toothpicks to hold my eyelids up by the time I was a fourth of the way into my interstate driving toward home. So, Saturday, I slept off and on all day. I didn't get up to stay up until 6pm. I haven't done that without being hungover in years. Years!
Less than two weeks until Christmas. I say, "Eat, drink, and be merry!"; the Husband says, "Bah humbug!"

Turkey talk

Turkey Day is over. I ate my fair share of turkey and sides. The best thing I had was a piece of sugar-cream pie. It was delicious. Oddly enough, I must not have eaten enough stuffing - I think it still sounds good.
It was great to be with my side of the family this year. I was glad to see them. Some are funny, some are funny to watch. For instance, though I'm sort of ashamed to say it, one of my cousins wanted to show me something on his phone - a picture. When he brought it up to the screen and handed me the phone, I almost thought it might be a picture of a penis. No, it was just one of his creations - a huge turd in the toilet. He wanted to show everyone because he was so proud. Yep, that's the midwest for ya!
Now, it is back to work. I dread the thought. Looks like I'm gonna have to have a Starbucks this week to keep me going. (I've been craving one for three weeks now...)

Lettin' Go

I didn't think I'd find myself in this situation. My middle daughter, my strongest, tallest, most athletic daughter, has told me that she won't be participating in the upcoming girls' basketball season. She got the part she wanted in the school play and states that she won't be doing both the play and basketball. This, coming from the same girl who had recently talked to me about really wanting a future in basketball (college, scholarship potential). Now, mind you, she is only in the sixth grade, but dreams start young these days, ya know? I didn't ever think I would say I have disappointment in the fact that my daughter is choosing drama over basketball. But, I just don't want her to regret it. I have maintained, thank you, and have not pushed her one way or the other. I am letting her decide, as I think I should. Boy, is that difficult, might I add...

School excuses

Wanna hear a good one? Here is a quotable from a student who missed two days of school this week.

"I missed the day one because I had TWO appointments: one at ten, and one at 1, so I didn't have time to be at school.
Wanna know why I missed the day two? Because I was helpin' my mom do stuff and she fell - right on a rock. If I left her, she would have been all alone with a broken head! Now I just couldn't do that, could I!"

Honestly. That's what he said. Too funny. *NOTE: This is the same kid who missed school every time it seems as though rain might be on the way. Rain leads to storms sometimes, and he will not come to school if storms could brew.
Don't hate me because you wish you had MY job. . .

Even though NO ONE reads this shit...

So, this website has bit the dust for me, really. My dad doesn't read it anymore in FL; my mom has no internet presently, and people just really don't give a flip anymore. In rebellion of that, I'll post something, shall I?

* My dog loves to lick things that should not be licked, like this "velour" bone that says, "Got Treats?" on it. How can she not become dehydrated immediately? I mean, it's like velvet. Gross.
*Why do people get married so young?
*I wish a fairy would arrive and clean my large house. It is just too much for me to do by myself. Then, when you get done cleaning, it gets messy again. I hate it.
*I am on sensory overload today. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?!
*It is getting cold here and I hate the weather.
*I'm pissed because I look outside my big window and see a large hole in the ground that used to look like a pool; now it looks like a large mesh covering over what used to be my life - sun, water, and itunes.
*My Husband is already complaining that the holidays are near.
*I can't sleep. At the right times, anyway.
*I hate my clothes.
*I am trying to let my hair grow, even though it looks like shit.
*My daughter could be an all A student, but she chooses to be an A/B student.
*I have one daughter with NO immune system. I mean it. She can think of an infection and get it.
*I need a glass of wine.

L'Ville

The Husband and I spent last weekend in the great state of Kentucky (hi, Mel). I had two surprises that He had planned for me. The first was glassblowing at Glassworks. I got to blow a glass pumpkin. Now, this may not entice some of you, but for me, it was great. I love pumpkins, and I love orange. So, my pumpkin is a rich orange and red with a swirly green stem. It is gorgeous. I recommend anyone who lives within driving distance to L'ville to go see the studio. It is amazing.
The second surprise was a theater show. We saw The Underpants, adapted by Steve Martin. This was in the Actors Theater in downtown L'ville. It was a hoot!
We had a good time. We stayed at The Brown hotel downtown. It opened in Oct. 1923. Very Jay Gatsby-ish. (for those of you who don't recognize the reference --- The Great Gatsby, novel I love. )
I encourage people to go places, explore! You won't regret it.

I know, I know...

It's been so long since I have updated this thing. I'm falling short, I know.
My thirty-fourth bday was last Sat. the 13th. God, it is awful to get older. I don't like it. 'Nuff said.

The Husband and I are celebrating this weekend. We are heading off to Louisville to spend the night in an historic hotel downtown. We are also going to hit 4th Street, for those of you who have been there. Fun! Husband says he has a few surprises for the weekend, too. I'll let you know what those are.

Here's to another year, another dollar. . .

Older Husband, Sicker Wife

The Husband had a birthday this past weekend and is now a ripe old age of 36. He said this long weekend "sucked balls", and I quote. It all started when I bought him a couple of IU items for his birthday. A shirt and hat, to be exact. The hat, seriously handsome as it was, did not fit. Now, the tag and the store personnel said that the hat was fitted, but that no size was required, as in one size fits all because of stretching purposes. Nope. My Husband, the large headed man that he claims to be, did not fit in the cap. It did not feel comfortable. So, I said, "I kept the receipt. Just return it." He tried. Since I paid by check (yes, I am the one on those commercials who hold up the line paying by check, how archaic...) we could not return the item before ten days after the check was written. JEEZ. I won't do that again. So not only did the Husband have a cool hat that he could not wear, but now he has to keep it for ten days and simply look at it, imagining what hat he'd LIKE to have. It gets better. The second thing that really made his weekend "suck balls" was that he wanted to attend an event in Indy called Ribfest. After discussing this with all of the children, we decided that perhaps it would be better to stay home, swim in our lovely pool, order pizza and rent movies. This would save money (ribfest was expensive), gas, time, and effort. No harm done. I thought the Husband would love the idea. Turns out, no, he hated it. He was offended. We didn't appreciate him trying to plan something for us to do. Wow! Bad idea all around. So, in the end, his weekend sucked balls.
I have been feeling under the weather since returning to school. I swear, my body simply cannot handle the pattern of getting up early. It simply falls to pieces and I catch every little bug around. I'm hopeless.
There you have it. Happy Labor Day Weekend to all.

Let the good times roll

School has started, and we've been at it for two weeks now. I haven't posted because of a few things: A) school started, B) had multiple parties for birthday kids in my own household, and C) been busy with A, B, and a zillion other things.
I have a job. Don't get all excited just yet; it is as an LRC aide in high school/jr.high. What that entails is that I go around from classroom to classroom, following different LRC kids that need help. I get to attend Math, English, U.S. History (hate it), and then also cover the LRC room for several periods to help anyone who comes in. I've somewhat done this before when I covered an extended maternity leave for an LRC teacher at the same school. Believe it or not, this position pays a little more than a regular substitute position. Go figure. At least I'll know where I am supposed to be daily instead of waking up to a 5am phone call for subbing.
The pool has been great. I love sunning myself and relaxing poolside. Take a peek at photos of family party for birthday boy who turned 13 on my flickr to the right of this page. I even have a pic of the "whale" my father-in-law carved for said bday party. Pretty cool!
Later!

School days

Back to school tomorrow. Not me, of course, because I have no stinkin' job. However, the kids start back tomorrow. One nice thing is that I'll be able to take them to school in the morning. I am glad about that. Last Thurs. evening we took Patrick (stepson) to his seventh grade orientation. He was funny. He couldn't get his locker open. He ended up saying, "Let's just get out of here before I have a nervous breakdown!" I laughed.
Mak will be an eighth grader, Cam a sixth grader, and Syd (Clovis) a fourth grader. Clovis is NOT looking forward to fourth grade because she has to leave her beloved teacher, Mrs. B, behind. I told Mrs. B I would pay her to move to fourth grade. It didn't happen.
I am sure the week will be rough as far as getting the kids awake and ready in the mornings. They have slept in all summer and now have to face early morning rising. Not a pleasant thought! I dread fourth grade homework. Seriously. And Clovis is sooooo not good with doing her homework. How will I manage? uuuuugggghhhhh.

Too busy swimming to blog!

So I have been neglectful. Guilty as charged.

I have been way too busy swimming to blog. Yes, I have read some fellow bloggers, but I have not posted my own. Here are just a couple of pics of the pool in finished form. One thing left to do is fencing. In Indiana you must have a four foot high fence surrounding your pool. You must do this for insurance as well as the state laws. That'll cost us!

All friend bloggers in the midwest, come and take the plunge...

Day Six Pool Update

We have made the milestone of getting water in the pool. Now, granted, it is water that looks like weak coffee, but nonetheless, it is water. The liner went in yesterday before the water, so here are a few pics. Today the rest of the water will arrive, as it got too late yesterday to finish, and the pool guys are gonna clean it right up so that it is sparkling clean. The electric and gas lines will be run today also. That is a big job. So, enjoy fellow watchers, enjoy.

Finally getting there

Here are a couple of pics from the first day of pool digging, etc. First day, and they got everything dug, walls up, steps secure. I was amazed. More pics later...

Beginning deep end upward left pic

Some walls in and steps in white up left pic.

Left of this: a boy and his daddy, admiring the work. Equipment digging the final few feet of deep end. Below: what the walls look like being put in.

With all Flags Flying!
Guys just left from our pool place. They staked off the pool area with flags for the permit they need to start digging. We are inching closer!!
I asked the large man if he would be "the one" digging - he said, "Well, here. Let me just give you my card." It said contracter something or other for the pool place we are going through. I laughed, chuckled actually, and said, "Well...what kind of bribes wouldya take for starting tomorrow - how much money are we talkin'????" He chuckled. And didn't respond, really. I take it that means we'll be starting next week, not tomorrow.
It feels odd that we, in this small poke town, actually have to be so official and have a building permit. (don't even think about saying something about OSHA and shit - I know WHY we have to have one...) It just is funny because residents can speed down main street at 65mph, burn trash right within the "city limits" against policy, play little league in the lightning, beat each other up at the park, and many other things, but to beautify our property we must get a permit. Did Bobby Jo get her permit to sleep with her brother Billy Jo and run off and get married, I wonder? No, just overexaggerating. But you get my drift, eh?

Back from hiatus

I just haven't been blogging. I mean, I did have my hysterectomy. All went fine. But I have just kind of been "blah". I have checked my email, read others' blogs, but not posted on my own. My girls have gone to their "biological father's" house to spend the rest of the summer. I will see them every other weekend. They are only technically around twenty minutes away. I suspect that they won't want to stay the entire time. He is spiteful enough to make them. Plus, when they are there for this long amount of time, he doesn't have to pay support. He'll make them stay come hell or high water. Believe me.
We went pool/patio furniture shopping yesterday. Got quite a few things. That's exciting. Have not starting digging on the pool yet, but soon. I can't wait.
My mom and dad are on a fishing trip to Lake Erie. When they get back, I think I'll have a big ol' fish fry. Sounds yummy.
I repeat painted my adirondack chairs and ottomans yesterday. Took me about four hours to do them well. There are nooks and crannies everywhere on those things!! I was covered in stain - blue nonetheless. I had to take mineral spirits (paint thinner) to get it all off. Great exfoliant. NOT.
Tonight is Clovis' last softball game of the season. Her dad told me yesterday that he wasn't coaching her next year and wasting his time if she didn't practice more. *( Hard core jock that he is, yelling at her for not making this her "career" at such a young age...makes me puke. )
Lastly, my middle daughter turned 12 years old on June 21. She looks way older. Scary.

Go see my pool

Go to my flickr photos and see the specs of our pool-to-be. Of course, the pics are detailed with landscaping that we'll never be able to afford, but they look great!
I cannot wait. Believe me!

Compliments to you, Mrs. Nina

Today at my pre-admission testing at the hospital, the nurse who was taking care of me took my vitals. Afterward, she complimented me: "Oh my, (patting my leg), people would LLLLLOOOOOOVVVVEEE to have your blood pressure!" Well, thank you, nurse. I'll take any compliment I can get. Now, my veins, on the other hand, no one wants. She couldn't get blood easily. Yeah, I'm used to that. My veins play hide-and-seek with needles. It's a fun game, or so they think. You know, something came to me today -- I am much better with needles that take things OUT of my system in comparison to needles that put things in. Don't know why that is, but it remains a fact. I hate shots of any kind, but I can take a blood draw. Odd, I know.

So, next Monday is the surgery. Get this! I even got "fitted" for a pair of support hose. They are the kind that old ladies wear (white) so that they get better circulation through their legs. I have to have them post-op to prevent blood clots. I am gonna be the sexiest beast alive!

Hotter than Billy Whiz

My late Grandma used to say: "Whoo-pee-doo! It's hotter than Billy Whiz outside today!" Now, has anyone else ever heard of said 'Billy Whiz'? Is he some damn fine hottie? Is that what she meant? I highly doubt it. Is he some kind of highway worker who sweats his balls off every day - like hotter than that? Or is he just some warm blooded mammal that we can easily compare ourselves to? I'd like to know.

B-A-S-E H-I-T

Clovis got a base hit tonight at her softball game! It was so cute. She got on base and was ready to rock-n-roll to second. The next batter struck out, though. Finally, in the third game, she got a hit.

While sitting and watching the game tonight, some old softball cheers came back to me. I'm going to teach them to the team so that they can have "new" ones that the other teams don't know. They are excited.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, a stray dog came to my mom and dad's house. I guess it barked most of the night. I tried to give it a bath today and almost got devoured by it. After it felt the cool water on its skin, it didn't think I was so bad after all. Every once and a while, though, she got temperamental again and snarled at me. I went down to their house this evening and it was still hanging out by their front porch. I'm a sucker -- I took it some dog food. My dad will kill me when he finds out. I can't help it. It looked at me with "those eyes" and I melted.

Tomorrow Cam (middle daughter) goes to get her eyes checked. Perhaps it will help with the headaches she has been having.

Two more softball games this week. Tomorrow evening and the next at the ballpark. Supper never the same time twice this week - we'll manage. Now I know how my parents felt when I was traveling all over hell's creation playing double headers and such. Man!

Fundamental Friday

Many things to talk about, not in the right frame of mind to do so. . .

The doc's office called me and told me my hysterctomy will take place on June 18. This is three days before my middle daughter's birthday. We'll have to figure out something there; she wants to have a sleepover. Good news is, I get the surgery that is less invasive. (Only one hospital night's stay. )

My girls went to their dad's house last night and will stay until Monday morning. I'll pick them up and head to the dentist for MY appointment. I am scared shitless. Part of one of my molars has broken off and is in need of repair. What kind of repair, I'm not sure. But, I hate the dentist, so anything will frighten me. Can thirteen year olds drive home in emergency situations if need be? Great.

My stepson is departing on a cruise to the Bahamas with his bio mother tomorrow. He is getting picked up any second now. We had to buy him a calling card to take so he could call home; his mom said she won't let him use her cell phone due to roaming charges!? Whatever. He has scoped the weather - it looks like terrible storms out there the whole time he'll be gone. Go figure.

I feel like shit, am treating others like shit, and want to get rid of the labor pains, er, cramps as they say. I mean, I could give birth any second now. Honestly. It needs to stop or I am going to hurt someone. Dogs, lookout!

I need to get in the shower, too. Perhaps an automatic car wash would work best. Maybe I'll drive to one and get squeaky clean.

"No, sir, attendant, no tire shine for me today - it'll leave a residue in my hair. Thanks anyway!"

Memorial Day Weekend

We took the kids to Wolf Lodge. It was a good time. The best time I had was when I actually got to get out in the "real" sunshine, not the sun peeking in through the skylights indoors. Today the girls and I ventured out into "Raccoon Lagoon" as they call it at the lodge. It was the type of pool that you could wade in, bird bathe in, and then return to your lounge chair to soak up sun. Problem was, I was only out there for thirty minutes out of guilt - my husband was sitting inside by himself. So, we went back in.
We are back home now, drooping flowers are watered, and life is back to hectic, non-stop chaos.
******WARNING************: if you do not want to read very personal, perhaps invasive information, then click your back button now!



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I have not mentioned this on here yet, and my husband will probably have a cow, since this is the information highway, but...
tomorrow I go to my trusty gynie doc to find out when I can schedule a hysterectomy. Tomorrow she will do an ultrasound to make sure there aren't polyps, etc. on the uterus itself; then we'll talk about which kind of hysterectomy I'll be having: a C-section type one, or the better choice, vaginal hysterectomy. I hope to get the news that I can have the latter kind. I'm kind of nervous, but anxious to get things over with and feel better. This has been going on since last October, at least.
More later...

It's your high school graduation! Now get a job.

Today I am attending TWO high school graduations. As I remember back to my own, fifteen years ago, I am reminded of how long ago that was. (And what has happened since then, actually.)
Today, my husband's cousin is graduating and attending Xavier University in Ohio. His mother tells us that he basically has nothing yet in preparation for the journey. That leaves gift suggestions wide open. Really, that is almost as difficult as a specific request. I don't want to give him money - that is boring and not creative. So, I'll ponder it. His actual "party" is not until June 10.
The other graduation I am attending is for a girl who has babysat for us on occasion. I taught with her mother, and she is a family friend. This party will be fun. Her family is outrageous, with her father being completely insane and entertaining. Plus, a bonus, there'll be beer there. Who could pass that up?
Monday, the fam is going on a little road trip to Ohio. We are spending the night in a hotel near Kings Island that dotes an indoor waterpark. The kids are stoked. We thought that by Monday, with all of us being at home together, we ought to go somewhere as to not kill one another.
School is out! and the kids are excited. One year down in the long road of education. I got all of my finals graded, including research papers. Those are a bitch, let me tell ya. Students and husband alike made the comment: "Don't assign them, then!". Right. It is a state standard = requirement. Duh. Time for a Cosmo or a Manhattan or something nice like that in celebration. Don't ya think?

Me on a bad day.

I am just totally in a pissed off mood. It started with a crappy email this morning and hasn't changed much since. I feel like I am under the gun. I just want to scream non-stop. But no one is listening. Have you ever been around people, yet felt so alone? Yeah, that's me.

Nothing, really

Tonight the family attended our elementary school's Spring Art Fling. Pak and Cam were in the band portion and Cam was also in the choir section of the show. Then, after hearing music, we all went to view the art show pieces. Cammi got several ribbons. I was so proud! Clovis had two drawings/paintings that made the show and Pak had two as well. Cammi's show pieces were from regular art class and honors art. She did great!
We are in the running to get a pool. We originally wanted a fiberglass pool where they just insert a deluxe, grandiose bathtub (like twenty thousand gallons sized) in a hole in the yard. Then, concrete around it and voila! But, we have been told that around this area, the soil is sandy and the fiberglass cracks. So, back to the drawing board. I want to hurry up because I want to use it ASAP!! Any horror stories or success stories with pools out there? We have a couple of options: concrete sided pool or one with a liner (all inground, not above ground...).

Sunday's events, Round 2

Last Sunday was the eventful yard accident that I posted pics of. This Sunday, as the Husband and I were grimy, sweaty, stinky, and tired, sirens were heard. My brother called me to tell me that the sirens were going to my mother and father in law's house that they are building. He said over the police/fire scanner he heard that a 57 year old woman fell down stairs. Yep. You guessed it. It was my mother-in-law. We rushed out there and they had her loaded in the ambulance. She was woozy and out of it. She had fallen about four feet or so down some steps that were leading up to a makeshift porch/deck. She fell backwards and broke her wrist in several places, hit the back of her head and also her back. She had her wrist casted and then got to come home. One more Sunday afternoon spent in an adrenaline rush. Damn, I can't take much more excitement. I wonder what this Sunday's Mother's Day will bring???

Another accident at the homestead

We have a curse on our house (on our lives, actually, but I'm trying to be optimistic). This Sunday, as my eldest daughter and I were driving home from spending around $250 at Wal-Mart for what seemed like nearly nothing, we got a phone call from my husband. He said we had had quite a stir at our house. I initially thought one of the dogs got hit or worse. Nope. The old man (in his eighties) next door got his car stuck in reverse at 60mph and created havoc on our block. He ran through our yard and two others, coming to a stop when hitting a car parked in a driveway. In our yard he ran over some tree/bushes, a cement stone in the yard, our fiberglass picket fence, ramped the ledge above the sidewalk, went between two trees (barely missing a firehydrant). He uprooted more trees in our neighbors yard after crossing Main Street, avoiding a motorcycle and another car. They screeched their tires to miss him. It was a major event in our town. Our town is so small that after it happened, it looked like a fourth of July parade - everyone comes out of the woodwork to gawk, point, and whisper. The man is okay, thank goodness, but embarrassed nonetheless. Thank God my kids weren't in the yard playing. They would have been killed.

Here are some pics, which don't really do the event justice.

Weekend report

The girls are away at their dad's house and I have slept my life away here this weekend. I am totally exhausted.
Yesterday was a gorgeous day here in Indiana. Of course, we all know that is an oxymoron -Gorgeous Day in Indiana...but, I got to hang clothes on the line to dry. It was amazing. And today, I am washing the sheets as we speak so that I can hang them out to dry, too. This coming weekend I plan to get some flower seeds with the kids and plant those. Awesome!
I have talked to my mom on the phone a couple of times this week. She finally sounds human again over the phone. It is wild, hearing her voice sound like it used to. Not that she is out of the woods or feels fantastic, but she is inching closer to normalcy, I think, anyway. She told me yesterday she kind of feels like she is "just here", but I told her how great it was to hear her sound better, even if she didn't feel great.
This week was a whirlwind of a money pit -- the lease we have on the Envoy is paying off in such magnitude...NOT. I had a flat tire this week. It was so flat that it couldn't even be driven down to the service station about three blocks from my house. I had to walk to my mom's and borrow her car for the day. Then, after having the service station guy come to my house and get the tire, repair it, put it back on, we had to drive the damn thing to the next town from us (that has a Wal-Mart), and get four brand new tires. You see, when you lease a car, you have to keep things wonderful on it. You have to have so much tread on your tires when you go to turn it in or you get penalized. And believe me, with as many miles as we've gone over on our allotment, we are being penalized enough already. The tires were bald, so we had to get them. $500+ for the four tires. THAT wasn't in the budget for the week. I'm ready to turn the damn thing in early and take all penalties. I'm over it. We have put over $1,000 in the thing the last month. That's no to mention having to pay the lease payment on top of that for the pure enjoyment of driving the beast. Plus, it cost 65.00 to fill the tank with gas, and I can't make it a week on one tank! You do the math!!!
Well, washer is buzzing, telling me the sheets are clean and ready to be put on the clothesline. Until tomorrow...

Hey.

Hi all. Me, here. So, I read about this assignment that a shrink gave a person. This assignment was a list of ten questions supposed to be handed out to five people that knew the client well. These five people then answered the questions about the client honestly and openly. The questions were quite thought provoking. I would love to give those questions to five people I trust and know and see just what answers turn up. I won't, though. It simply won't work. First, I can't think of five people I talk to on a regular basis who "know" me as I am right now. Secondly, if I did know five people, they would think of me as the biggest moron on the planet. So, the list of questions will remain frozen.

Cam is playing travel team basketball, right? I believe I've already stated that. Yesterday she had a game that took us an hour to get to. I had no idea it was that far away. I just kept driving, looking for this particular road I was told to turn on. Unfortunately, going 70-80mph and thirty-five minutes later than I thought, it turned up - you see, I thought for sure I must have gone the wrong way or missed the turn. Nope. The turn arrived around an hour after our departure from home. Wow. Tonight, she had another game around forty minutes from home. That was do-able. She kicked ass. She gets these awesome, "I'll kick your ass in a hearbeat" faces when she is on the court. She gets into it. She rebounds and ain't-nobody-gettin'-the-ball from her. It rocks. Someone in the crowd of parents tonight kind of chuckled at one of her faces and looked my way. I said, "Man, wouldn't you like to have those expressions on film!?" The parent replied, "Wonder where she gets that from?!" I laughed. Then I said, "Duh, her dad."

Finally, some good news...

Cam's teacher emailed me today, telling me that he wanted me to know just how proud he is of her and her hard work recently. He said she has all A's and B's, even in reading! (her weakness)

What a welcoming idea it is to have good emails come to me, especially about my children. Yes!!!!

Tonight, I do not have to cook dinner - what more could I ask for? Those are the things I live for.

Romeo and Juliet test went well. They scored better than I thought most would.
Suicide gets their attention, along with young lusty sex. What's a teacher to do?hahaha

O Romeo, Romeo

Tomorrow, my ninth graders will have their Romeo and Juliet test. We finally finished the play this week. Amen! And all the while, I am doing Shakespeare's Julius Caesar with my tenth graders. Boy, am I quite sick of Wm. Shakespeare's works right now. But, interesting story I found while searching for pictures of Romeo and Juliet. Check it out! Seems there were bones found of an entwined couple near Mantua, Italy where R&J took place (in some parts). Very cool.

In other news...My mother is home from the hospital. She had two seizures not because of low blood pressure, but from quitting pain medicine cold turkey. I tried to tell her there were grave consequences for doing that, but evidently she did not listen to the warning. She is quite angry right now, normal for what is happening, but nonetheless hard to accept. She has put off back surgery she was supposed to have on Apr. 17th. She is not really on board for doing what needs to be done as far as having her whole heart into being clean. Again, I'll say, I can't do it for her. (unfortunately) So, we'll all suffer through the pain it takes to a) figure out if she really will try to do what needs to be done, b) see her go through it all, and c) feel emotions every second of the day that we're not sure we want to feel. We'll get by. And I hope mom will see what is best for her, which is to be free of drugs in her body. Thanks for all the encouragement.

Mom

Around two a.m. this morning I got a phone call from my brother (lives at home) who was crying. He informed me that he had called 911 for my mom. Apparently my dad was sleeping and heard something - he got up and went to look for mom in the living room. He didn't see her there, so he went to the kitchen. She wasn't there either. He returned to the living room and found her wedged between the couch and end table. She was out cold. He saw her have a seizure, so he picked her up and put her on the couch. She then proceeded to have another one. My brother said he heard dad screaming bloody murder and went out to the living room. He called 911 and the ambulance came. She came to before they got to the hospital. Dad called me around 6:15 a.m. and said that they had put her in a room. Her sodium levels were low and they thought she had the seizures because her blood pressure was so low. She has cardiomyopathy, so they aren't sure just how much damage the seizures did to her heart yet. They did a CT-Scan and said the brain looked ok. She is in the hospital and they are watching her. Needless to say, I haven't slept much and now I get to truck in to work. Do you see that black cloud over my head? I thought you did. It's quite noticeable.

Easter

Today is Easter. The girls are with their dad and I sat here all day in this house without A) going to church, B) eating a traditional Easter dinner, and C) seeing any of my family. I feel shitty about all of them. I cleaned the house instead. Not that I wanted to, but I had to. Isn't Easter supposed to be about renewed hope in life? About being a believer and relishing in that fact? Yeah. I thought so. What did I get out of it? Sore muscles and coughing. A bologna sandwich and wheat thins.
So, in a few minutes, I will get in the car and go get the girls. We'll do homework, baths and showers, and bed. Feels like the weekend was an entire waste. Oh, and then, then I get to get up tomorrow morning and start another week of work. How freakin' fun is that?

I read post secret's website every Sunday. After reading it, I feel like I could send in about a million of my own postcards. Anyone else feel the same?

I am reading a book by Jodi Picoult right now - Nineteen Minutes. It is about what could happen in nineteen minutes. The focus is on a school shooting and bullying. It is good, but not as good as her book My Sister's Keeper. Just thought I'd inform you book bugs out there.

Warning! Extreme Conditions

Those of you who have multiple children will understand this, I hope.

I am reeling with emotions because my children will NOT STOP FIGHTING!! Not fist fighting (yet), but arguing. And I simply cannot take another five minutes of it. Sending them to their rooms doesn't help. Making them go to bed early doesn't help. Grounding them doesn't work. Screaming at them does nothing. I am totally over it.

Clovis is dramatic anyway, on a daily basis, but this, THIS is awful. She is crying all the time, and whining like no nine year old should. I'm about to internally combust. And don't forget, folks, that I am sicker than hell. Feel like dog doo.

So, chalk this up to another day of shittiness. All around.

Mask Taken Off - Truth Revealed

Oddly enough, my first post after the benchmark of 100 is bigger than the hundredth post itself.
In all honesty, I'm charting into unmarked territory here. And, I won't be long-winded about it:
My mom told me she's sorry for "all the dumb stuff" today on the phone as she was crying. She couldn't bring herself to say the words "I'm an addict" out loud. She conveniently worded it as the dumb stuff.
She claims verbally that she is just going to go through withdrawl and get over her problem. The sad part is, for no longer than I worked at a drug and alcohol treatment center, I did learn that an addiction can't be "solved". She's SO not going to be clean. And it kills me inside.
I feel like I need to send a post card to Post Secret and have it published for the world to see.
But I won't.

100 posts old

So this is my hundredth post. Yep, sure is.
I have a killer sinus infection and bronchitis for my lovely spring break. As a teacher, mother, or anyone who is just insanely busy at all, you'll notice that most times when sickness arrives, it is when you have that short spurt of "down time" when you can almost start to relax. Then, then is when you get sick. It's a lovely cycle, really. Doctors everywhere approve.
It may even be a tickline for the American Medical Association, I'm not sure.
I'm foul, very, very foul.

Odd

I was just trying to post something worth viewing when, kapowwww! The entire internet connection blew to bits. It kicked me off and I lost the entire post. Dammit.

So, I'll post a few pics I found while browsing my files. The kids have been playing with the camera, no doubt.

Hi. It's me.

Wow. Last post Feb. 7th. I am a slacker. I must say, in my defense, that I have been busy. The oldest daughter just finished up her basketball season on Thursday. They were defeated by our rival school. It was a barn burner, as we like to say here in Indiana, AKA Basketball Country. I was proud of the team. We played girls twice our size.
My second oldest daughter (fifth grade) will finish up her season this coming Thursday. She has played very well - she has scored, rebounded, and had assists. What more could I ask for? Plus, secretly between you and me, she is so tough she made girls cry on the other teams. Yes! That's my girl...
My youngest daughter is begging to play softball this summer. I am scared to death to let her, but I am going to. If she gets bruised in the face, I'll cringe. And probably make her stop. No, I just seriously don't want her to get hurt. When you start playing at age five and have played your whole life it seems, you are fine. But when you enter the game at age nine, other girls who are experienced will simply kick your ass. Period. And, the drama queen that she is along with prissiness, oh my - LOOKOUT.
My stepson is close to his end of the season in travel team basketball. He has bronchitis right now, so playing is not easy. He is supposed to have a tournament tomorrow - we'll see if he goes.
Lastly, my oldest daughter, Mak, attended her first formal dance on Feb. 24. She wore a dress - the first time since third grade! Four years. And, she wore makeup. And, she got her hair and nails done. I was shocked. She was oustandingly beautiful. I will post pics tomorrow hopefully.
Until another day, my friends...

Baby Maddie Update

Tomorrow our little addition to the family will be four months old. At her last vet visit, a couple of weeks ago, she finally hit the two pound mark! Today, since my children got the day off school because of snow, her "mother" - my oldest daughter, Mak- took some posing photos of her. She is just adorable, I tell ya.

Back to the sick house

I had the oldest daughter staying at home today. Sick again. This time she has whatever virus is going around her school. It is hitting the teachers so hard that they can't find enough substitute teachers to fill in for all of them. Yeah. It is this throat sort of thing - it feels as though your throat is swelling, creating a small airway to breath from. In turn, the sick person feels like they are fighting for air. There is a cough, a general feeling of your head swimming, and just the yuckies. Wonder how long it will take to run the course of all six of us? And just in time for the SuperBowl!!! Dammit!